#1. The Tried-and-True
Who she is: She may be a grandparent as well, or not—but what characterizes this friend is her forever status in your address book. She pre-dates, well, everything.
Why you need her: She knows you, your history (and your secrets!), and you can be honest with her, without pressure to act like the perfect grandma. “You can tell her that you think one of the grandkids may be hyperactive or that your teenage grandson is experimenting with pot,” says Irene Levine, Ph.D., author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Break-Up With Your Best Friend..
It’s also key to have a friend who reminds you that you haven’t always been Grannie, says Jan Yager, Ph.D., author of When Friendship Hurts. She keeps your focus on things you talked about and enjoyed before that little bundle of baby changed your world. “It’s easy to fall into the trap of only talking to friends who are in the same situation as you,” she says. But then you might not, say, maintain your old book group or golf buddies or garden-clubbers.