Perhaps the most powerful words in the English language. Saying “I love you” lets your family member know she is not alone and that you care. The words also can help decrease fear in kids, and increase trust. As for the health benefits, simply holding someone’s hand relieves pain and makes you feel better, so if you find yourself tongue tied, give a hand squeeze to let your family member know how important she is to you.
Asking for help isn't always easy—we don’t want to be seen as a burden or weak. However, asking for assistance from family members gives them the opportunity to do a kind act, and be a star. By showing vulnerability you can also help a relationship feel more equal and bring you closer together. The other hidden benefit of asking for help: Research shows that kids do better when they ask for help, rather than being shown immediately how to do something—so your asking for help models good behavior for them.
What is the best thing you can say to your grandchild who is an aspiring athlete? In their article “What Makes A Nightmare Sports Parent and What Makes a Great One" former coaches Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC compiled decades of research from college students and found that the single best thing a parent (or grandparent!) can say is “I love watching you play.” In this culture of super-competitive sports and pressure to achieve, telling your grandchild how much you just enjoy him or her doing the sport they love is the best compliment you can give.
Accepting responsibility and owning up to our mistakes is one of the most important things we can do with family members. It is a way to mend relationships that are problematic. Apologizing can also help you feel better physically, according to research by Carol Osborn, Ph.D., author of 21 books about the boomer generation. Dr. Osborn studied 100 baby boomer women whom she considered to be well-adjusted role models for her book The Silver Pearl. She found that the main characteristic the women all shared was their knack for apologizing and straightening out problematic situations. Apologizing makes you feel better!
Sometimes it’s difficult for us to tell the people we care about most how much they mean to us. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by that prospect, just pick out one aspect of their personality and focus on that. Say, “I’ve never told you that I love the way you cook,” or “I’ve never told you that you have the best smile.” Giving a compliment makes the other person feel good about himself and appreciated. And when people feel appreciated, they are happier, which can boost health mentally and physically.
How well do you get along with your grandchild and other family members? Want to know if your personalities mesh?Find out here.