As my father said, we were all ordinary people before we became parents. We do our best, and our best is rarely enough. I used to think that all kids need is to know they are loved. I regret that. They also need to know how not to interrupt, and they need to be taught to accept losses without being able to talk their way out of them. If I could go back, I would be stricter. I would not follow my instincts — my instincts have no follow-through, because I can't stay mad long enough to make a rule stick. I would make a rule stick even when neither of us liked it much.