"You're my model for how NOT to parent!
Really? Unless your spouse was abused, it’s likely that his parents tried their best to do right by him, and, as they say, he turned out all right. Maybe your mother-in-law was stricter than you would have been; but if your kids are still little, you don't know for sure how much strictness you have in you yet. But no matter the circumstances, this accusation won’t help your family. Confront your mother-in-law, calmly, on specific issues, if you have to clear the air. You may find she's more flexible, and thoughtful, than you thought.