Keep whatever differences you may have with her
husband in perspective. Don’t overlook his good qualities while getting
hung up on one flaw, such as a tendency to be late, or his gaining a few
pounds. Above all, avoid the temptation to criticize. It
could turn both spouses against you.
What to do if he's unfriendly, or you don't like the way he treats your daughter? If he's unfriendly, Dr. Nemzoff suggests trying to draw him out. Strike up a conversation about something he's interested in. If it works, great. If he's uncomfortable, stop. "If you like to hug and kiss, but he doesn't like it, use words instead of actions to tell him how happy you are to see him," she says.
And if you don't like the way your son-in-law treats your daughter? Examine your reaction first to make sure you're not making something out of nothing. Then ask yourself if your daughter is happy. "Ask your daughter how she feels," says Dr. Nemzoff. "Your job is not to cause trouble in the marriage, it's to be as supportive as possible and bring out the best in everyone." However, she cautions, if there is abuse involved, you absolutely need to step in.