10 Things Your Daughter-in-Law Won't Tell You

They spoke off the record, and they held nothing back. Here's what the moms really want you to know.

By Emily Perlman Abedon
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Oh, I thought I was the only one who had the m-i-l who took advantage of the time I was in the hospital to 'clean up a little'. She moved everything, rearranged my kitchen ("it didn't make sense"), washed my underwear (eeeeewwwwww), threw away "those old towels you didn't need...you know, the ones with the holes in them" (You mean the old towels I'd been saving because I was getting ready to go to the hospital to have another baby that was going to try and outdo its two and a half year sibling in the gross mess to be cleaned up with holey old towels?)

shammy_dammy@yahoo.com on 2014-04-02 11:47:48

My MIL just sent me a letter. She was trying to tell me how I should deal with my aspergers son. Pray for him, maybe he was over medicated, and he should pull himself up by his bootstraps. She also went on to say that I should just leave her letter lying around for others to see. Her kids accede to her wishes because they don't want to put up with her crap. She will find *I* will not be doing that. She is going to be receiving a letter from me calling her to the carpet for her bad behavior. She will be told in the first paragraph I will be taking my autism advice from professionals, not a well meaning caring grandparent who knows nothing of aspergers. She is then told my kids are better behaved then to read letters that are just laying around (as she wanted me to do). Also told her that kind of behavior is deceptive and manipulative. I have told her that given her past behavior, I will now be reading each letter she tries to send to my autistic son in an effort to stop any of her possibly harmful advice. I will also be sending her a paint by number watercolor kit telling her that she can paint God's beauty and her put time to a more positive use in developing this hobby Boundaries and consequences. And if a maelstrom happens from this then so be it. I won't put up with her manipulation.

triadmediasl@hotmail.com on 2014-02-09 09:06:54

I have to say that I love my MIL she is a wonderful woman.I have always treated her with love and respect and my children the same.When I grow up I did not have grandparents so I decided that when I started my own family I will have 4 grandparents for my children and they have been loved by all four . My MIL was welcome anytime to pop in without making a appointment why would I demand something like that when my own parents pop in anytime also.There is a bigger picture than being self centered and selfish cause you see without my MIL I would not have my wonderful husband and my children.So I have to say Thank you for being part of our lives. We Love you

eyes0000 on 2013-04-08 16:47:12

I do have to say though, that our ex dil treated us so badly that we were shell-shocked from the day of the wedding. We never saw our son nor our grandsons and when we did she always stayed home 'sick'. After 12 years of this our son turned to us for help and she promptly sued for divorce. So our experience has been pretty typical, but my philosophy still remains that the kids are the most important element. Sometimes it is your own kids that break your heart too...whether they don't stand up to their spouse or they stand up to you. We are here with open arms....but we won't drop plans that we have...we deserve our retirement. We are here to ease the burden (especially with Autism) but all the ins and out of kids...the chores and fun. I have had enough tears. We a new dil with our ys. she is smart and nice. She has boundaries which are good. Good for all of us.

strong6 on 2013-04-06 03:36:25

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