Ramona Roberson is the author of Cousin Camp: A Guide to Intentional Grandparenting (BookSurge, 2010 ), from which this essay is adapted. She is also the grandmother of 11.
Do you want to make an impact on your grandchildren's lives? Do you want to grow closer to them, develop meaningful relationships, and leave a legacy for them?
If so, start making it happen — it won't happen on its own. But it can happen if you begin to do what I call "intentional grandparenting."
By intentional grandparenting, I mean you intentionally plan your time with your grandkids. It takes a little sacrifice, but it is well worth it.
Time is more precious than money, because you can make more money, but you can't make more time. Children spell love
T-I-M-E. When you give of your time, you give of yourself. My husband, Roger, and I have been abundantly blessed through what we call "Cousin Camp." I'll admit, when Roger first casually suggested in 2001 that we start having all our grandkids over the age of five spend a week each summer with us at our home in Wisconsin, I questioned his sanity.
I still sometimes question Roger's sanity, but that's beside the point. His idea turned out to be off-the-charts awesome. The decision to become intentional grandparents by having our weeklong camps was the best we ever made as grandparents.
So what do we do at Cousin Camp? Each year we plan new activities for the kids; because we live on a lake, boating and fishing are always involved, as are arts and crafts. We plan activities based on interests we share with the kids, our surroundings, and what we're able to do physically. But the focus is not the activities but the kids and the relationships we're building with them.
Here are seven ways you can build intentionally stronger relationships with your grandkids:
1. Plan special times together.
It doesn't have to be a week each summer; it could be a few weekends throughout the year, or even a weekly afternoon visit. The quantity of time is not as important as the quality.
| Do you consider yourself to be an "intentional grandparent"? |
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Absolutely; when we take the kids, it's our special time 87.5%
No, but I'm ready to start 11.7%
No, it's not my style 0.8%
| |
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2. Ask the parents to stay away!
This is time for you and your grandchildren alone. If the parents are with you, the dynamics shift because kids will always focus more on their parents.
3. Take advantage of the resources around you.
Whether it's big-city attractions such as museums and aquariums, small-town amusements such as miniature golf and bowling, or natural resources such as lakes and woods, show the kids what's special about your area.
4. The simplest pleasures are often the best.
You don't always have to be on the go. The time you spend at home with the kids will often be the times they remember best.
5. Make a plan, but be flexible.
If something's not working, don't force it. If mini-golf is rained out, move indoors for crafts or board games. If the kids are tired and cranky, just take some down time. A plan is only there to guide you, not control you.
6. See things through the kids' eyes.
What excites your grandkids? What do they really want to try, learn about, or explore? Let that be your guide as you consider activities.
7. Give them your undivided attention.
Don't spoil them or cater to their every whim. But know that the love kids receive from you makes them feel special. So when they're with you, be with them. It's that simple.
Give intentional grandparenting a try. The time and love you invest will be paid back tenfold by the strong relationships and lasting memories you build with your grandchildren.
Get more ideas for creating special moments with the kids:
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