When I talk to my teenage grandkids, I don’t understand the words they use. What on earth is a “twitter?” And what does “krumping” mean? I am a college grad who’s truly lost in translation.
Word up, grandparents. From Pig Latin to IM’ing, one of the inevitable rites of passage for teens is to create ways of communicating that leave us oldsters out in the cold. Slang is as predictable a part of adolescence as loud music and mood swings, which makes being lost in translation pretty much unavoidable if you’re around teenagers.
You may remember being at a bash with a lot of cool cats, burnin’ rubber when somebody went ape and the fuzz showed up. Or maybe your mom had a cow every time you flipped your little brother the bird when he called dibs on riding shotgun.
You don’t understand the words your teenage grandkids use because they don’t want you to! Part of what appeals to your grandkids—and most of their peers-- about having a semi-secret language is that it solidifies their sense of belonging to an exclusive culture that only includes one another.
So don’t take it personally. It’s normal, and it’s not about you.
This does not mean, however, that it’s okay for your grandkids to deliberately leave you out of conversations by using words they know you don’t know. Nor should they be insulting your intelligence by suggesting you’re a doofas for being clueless about what they’re talking about. If you’ve been reading my columns, you know by now that I’m a stalwart believer in all people (including kids and grandkids) being kind, respectful and polite. Sprinkling their conversation with words you don’t understand is one thing; behaving rudely to you because you don’t understand those words is quite another.
If your grandchildren routinely use language that leaves you in the dark, you have a few options. One, you can pull rank on them, insisting they leave their slang at the door when they come to visit. This can work, but it comes with a price; the kids may be resentful or feel constrained, two characteristics that don’t mix well with adolescence. I would much rather see you deal creatively with the situation in a way that doesn’t harm your loving relationship with them.
Kids—like the rest of us— are more likely to cooperate with those whom they share a connection. Rather than trying to control your grandchildren’s use of wacky words, I wonder what would happen if you said nothing about it directly, but instead focused on doing something you both enjoy. Chances are, once their guard is down and they’re relaxed and having fun with their wonderful grandparents, they’ll naturally leave the slang behind.
You might also make a game out of this dilemma. Make lists of slang words from different eras, like the 50’s and 60’s, and challenge your grandkids to use as many of the words from their list as they can within three minutes, while you do the same with your list. Then see who can accurately translate what was said!
Lighten up around the issue, keep strengthening your connection with your grandkids, and open up to the fascinating journey of their adolescence. This too shall pass.
Oh, and by the way, a twitter is a social networking thing that kids are doing to let their friends know what they are up to at any given moment. As for krumping, that’s just a dance style.
So, don’t sweat it, stay tight with those homies, and chill.
Peace out.
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