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My Granddaughter Hates Barbie
by Susan Stiffelman
Why does my 7-year-old granddaughter hate Barbie?
Ah, the mysteries of children and what they like… and hate. Who can say why your granddaughter doesn’t like Barbie? In the same way that children in the same family have vastly different traits and temperaments, kids seem to be born with particular passions and interests -- and, generally speaking, a little girl’s interest in Barbie isn’t something she can be talked into… or out of. (And, by the way, there are those who would congratulate your granddaughter on her sensibilities, believing Barbie to be a negative influence on little girls, given the doll’s obsessive focus on coordinating outfits and her highly unrealistic bust-to-waist ratio.)
The bottom line is, your granddaughter hates Barbie. And speaking from experience, when a little girl doesn’t like Barbie, there’s not much you can do about it.
So the important question to ask isn’t about why she hates Barbie (although I’m sure she’d say something interesting if you asked her). The question I’d like to pose to you is, why does it bother you?
Be honest about the real reason this upsets you, and then take a good look at the validity of your concerns. Often, an idea or belief grabs hold of us and we don’t even question its truthfulness. Perhaps you think that playing with Barbie is a female rite of passage, and that it’s important that your granddaughter carry on the tradition. Remind yourself that millions of young girls have successfully transitioned to womanhood without Barbie.
Or maybe you believe little girls need to play with Barbie to learn certain social skills. Again, millions of girls have mastered social skills in the absence of Barbiedom.
Chances are, if you ask yourself why your granddaughter’s dislike of Barbie is bothering you, you’ll find that your reasons don’t actually have a lot of weight behind them.
I had a client once who was a very famous and accomplished musician. Music was his passion, and when his son was born, the baby’s room was decorated in—you guessed it!—a musical theme.
But the child had absolutely no interest in music. None. Nada. What he was interested in was cartooning. By the time the child was 9 he was a phenomenal cartoonist and had developed at least a dozen of his own comic strips. Problem was, his dad thought it was a silly and feminine hobby.
Dad nearly lost his connection to his son by ignoring the lad’s passion for drawing and trying to make him learn one instrument after another. Thankfully, when the boy was 12 and got into a little trouble, his father realized his deep need to be valued as is. By embracing his son’s love for cartooning, their relationship finally got healthy.
As for your granddaughter, my advice to you is to become genuinely interested in finding out what she likes to play with, celebrate her for who she is rather than resisting who she isn’t, and send her the best message any grandparent can deliver to a grandchild: I love you just the way you are.
Photo by BRANDIlane (Creative Commons)
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| well all i can say is that she might have a different personallity . for ex: if she likes nature shes a tom boy . if she don't like barbies than she might like animals . see .
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