Why does my 7-year-old granddaughter hate Barbie?
Ah, the mysteries of children and what they like… and hate. Who can say why your granddaughter doesn’t like Barbie? In the same way that children in the same family have vastly different traits and temperaments, kids seem to be born with particular passions and interests -- and, generally speaking, a little girl’s interest in Barbie isn’t something she can be talked into… or out of. (And, by the way, there are those who would congratulate your granddaughter on her sensibilities, believing Barbie to be a negative influence on little girls, given the doll’s obsessive focus on coordinating outfits and her highly unrealistic bust-to-waist ratio.)
The bottom line is, your granddaughter hates Barbie. And speaking from experience, when a little girl doesn’t like Barbie, there’s not much you can do about it.
So the important question to ask isn’t about why she hates Barbie (although I’m sure she’d say something interesting if you asked her). The question I’d like to pose to you is, why does it bother you?
Be honest about the real reason this upsets you, and then take a good look at the validity of your concerns. Often, an idea or belief grabs hold of us and we don’t even question its truthfulness. Perhaps you think that playing with Barbie is a female rite of passage, and that it’s important that your granddaughter carry on the tradition. Remind yourself that millions of young girls have successfully transitioned to womanhood without Barbie.
Or maybe you believe little girls need to play with Barbie to learn certain social skills. Again, millions of girls have mastered social skills in the absence of Barbiedom.
Chances are, if you ask yourself why your granddaughter’s dislike of Barbie is bothering you, you’ll find that your reasons don’t actually have a lot of weight behind them.
I had a client once who was a very famous and accomplished musician. Music was his passion, and when his son was born, the baby’s room was decorated in—you guessed it!—a musical theme.
But the child had absolutely no interest in music. None. Nada. What he was interested in was cartooning. By the time the child was 9 he was a phenomenal cartoonist and had developed at least a dozen of his own comic strips. Problem was, his dad thought it was a silly and feminine hobby.
Dad nearly lost his connection to his son by ignoring the lad’s passion for drawing and trying to make him learn one instrument after another. Thankfully, when the boy was 12 and got into a little trouble, his father realized his deep need to be valued as is. By embracing his son’s love for cartooning, their relationship finally got healthy.
As for your granddaughter, my advice to you is to become genuinely interested in finding out what she likes to play with, celebrate her for who she is rather than resisting who she isn’t, and send her the best message any grandparent can deliver to a grandchild: I love you just the way you are.
Photo by BRANDIlane (Creative Commons)
4 comments so far...
| well all i can say is that she might have a different personallity . for ex: if she likes nature shes a tom boy . if she don't like barbies than she might like animals . see .
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| My 6 year old granddaughter does not like Barbie either! She is very interested in frogs and has 4 pet frogs. She enjoys all creatures, and is not interested in dolls of any kind. On the other hand, her mother and I loved Barbies when we were children. To each his own!
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Ani on 01/15/09 at 10:13 AM
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| My granddaughter just 2yrs likes Barbie....however her BIG BROTHER 8yrs LOVES BARBIE and has since he was a toddler!!!! At the age of 4 he told me he was going to be a clothing designer..that was also about the time he started designing dresses and other clothes. I of course have saved every atricle he has designed and they hang PROUDLY on the walls of the bdrm they sleep in when we have "grammie" sleep overs....one time our friends from out of town spent the weekend and slept in the "drawing room" Bob was AMAZED at the things he designed and how he always draws on the biais of the dress or skirt....with fancy hemwork,strapless and crowning jewels at the necklines...a couple of yrs back he even ask me if I ever see Designing School ads on line would I forward them to his mommie so she can have the info ready to sign him up when he graduates from high school!!!!! Needless to say my precious grandson is a much "gentlier soul" than my DIRTBIKE RIDING,SNOWBOARDING,WAKEBOARDING SON...HIS DADDY...OF COURSE NO MATTER WHAT WE LOVE HIM WITH ALL OUR HEARTS!!!! His sissy(at 2yrs)on the other hand LOVES DADDYS MOMO(dirtbike) and gets rides most every day...and in the trunk of her little tricyle you will find some of daddys tools!!!!! GO FIGURE!!!! grammie58
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| My daughter doesn't want her girls to have Barbies. She also disapproves of Hannah Montana, and wouldn't give the Bratz dolls a second look. They have baby dolls, a few stuffed animals, oodles of books, and real chickens. The four year old loves to hold a particular chicken, as it is gentle with humans. Her block buildings are very exact in design and she greatly enjoys playing outside. No video games to be found, thank God.
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