Garry Marshall created, wrote, or produced some of television's most beloved sitcoms, including Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Mork & Mindy, and The Odd Couple. He has also directed 17 movies, including Pretty Woman, Beaches, The Princess Diaries, and Valentine's Day. His oldest daughter, Lori, co-wrote his autobiography, Wake Me When It's Funny (Newmarket, 1997). She is also a journalist, a children's playwright, and the mother of twin daughters, age 16 going on 40.
LORI: So this year was a big year for you. You directed a new movie, New Year's Eve, and you also battled the Big C.
GARRY: Yes. Cancer. Chemo. Crying. There are no good words that start with C except chocolate. Chocolate I love, the other C words I don't.
LORI: Like Michael Douglas and Denver Nuggets coach George Karl, you were diagnosed with throat and neck cancer. Tough stuff.
GARRY: Not for sissies, for sure. Until this year, I thought root canal and hip replacement surgery were my biggest worries. But root canal is like a day at the spa compared to chemo and radiation. Whoever invented those two had no sense of humor.
LORI: But you always manage to find humor in everything.
GARRY: I never wanted to change the world. I always wanted to entertain the world. That's how I survive and make a living. (Laughter.)
LORI: You also are lucky you married a nurse.
GARRY: Absolutely. During the height of my illness, she would walk around the house making me laugh by saying, "Do you know what the biggest tragedy is? When a hypochondriac like you really gets sick. Then your worst delusions finally become reality." I certainly was not her perkiest patient.
LORI: But Nurse Barbara kept you going?
GARRY: Yes. And so did you and your sister and brother with those letters you gave us to read during chemo.
LORI: We each wrote a dozen letters so you would have stories and giggles to read and pass the time while you were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital.
GARRY: I was the envy of all the other patients because it looked like I came with my own box of fan mail.
LORI: When you told Kathi, Scott, and me about your cancer, we were all in our 40s. But what about the grandkids? How did you tell them? You have six grandchildren, and some are very young.
GARRY: I like to be public about my movies, but I'm a pretty private guy. So really, the only people Barbara and I told were our kids, my sisters, and Barbara's family. Very few of our close friends even knew. I started to get very skinny from my treatments and some of my friends would say, "Garry, have you gone vegan or gluten-free? Are you doing Pilates or Bikram yoga? You look thin." With most of my friends, I just shrugged off the weight loss as stress.
But I had to tell the grandkids something more substantial because my voice got very scratchy and hoarse. They knew something was up, and I needed to explain. That's what grandpas do: We should not lie and hide things. We should teach our grandkids new things about life.
LORI: So what did you say to them?
GARRY: I told them only what they needed to know, depending on their age. I told three-year-old Emma I was just a little sick, and she gave me a Dora the Explorer Band Aid. I told Sam and Ethan, who were a few years older, that Pop was going to the doctor and getting some treatments. I tried to make them comfortable with my voice, without scaring them.
LORI: But my girls were 16.
GARRY: Charlotte watches all those medical shows and is a big fan of Hugh Laurie and House. So I came clean and told her I had throat cancer, was getting chemo, and was hoping for the best.
LORI: I remember she was surprised.
GARRY: And full of questions! Was it a pre-existing condition? What is your prognosis? Are you in any drug trials? I said, "Slow down, Dr. House. I'm just a beginner at this." Television makes kids so medically savvy they know more than us.
| Would you tell your grandchildren you had cancer? |
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Yes. They deserve to have us be straight with them. 54.8%
No. We shouldn't make them worry about us. 4.2%
It depends on the diagnosis and on the kids. 41.1%
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LORI: Are you glad you told your grandkids?
GARRY: Sure. They have to understand about life and sickness. You can sugarcoat things for a while, but not forever. And I think the grandparent-grandchild relationship is a mutually beneficial one. I teach them about life, and they remind me that I still need to have fun. I love swimming with the little girls, playing ball with the little boys, and going to the movies with your girls. So it's a win-win deal being a grandpa.
LORI: What did the cancer teach you about yourself?
GARRY: I'm such a bad patient that I have to keep working to stay sane. Work and writing has always been the best medicine for me, because I need distractions from the pain. Another mood elevator for me has always been softball, which I have played all my life. As long as I can keep hitting the ball, and making movies, I can stay a happy guy. New Year's Eve comes out in December, and it's a very meaningful movie for me because I directed the entire film while still struggling with the painful effects of the chemo. The hard work kept me from getting depressed. Every day I would arrive on the set and at least six crew members would greet me with a hug. When you are fighting cancer, hugs help a lot.
LORI: Are you all better now?
GARRY: Nothing is ever perfect, in life or show business. In a tiny percentage of cases, people who have what I have are left with some pain in the mouth. I'm in that tiny percent. But it's something I can live with. It won't kill me; it will just annoy me.
LORI: And how do you deal with that?
GARRY: Chocolate pudding. Never underestimate the medicinal effects of creamy chocolate pudding.
LORI: And hugs.
GARRY: Always hugs. That's the best thing about grandkids. You can get some hugs one day and go back the next day and knock on their door and say, "Pop is back for more hugs." And they give them away for free. That's something to cheer about.
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