Could Your Grandchild Have ADD?

Remember when getting a McDonald’s happy meal in five minutes was considered fast? Now, have to wait five minutes for a burger and your grandchild, who's been deftly texting buddies and jamming to his iTunes will ask, “What took so long?” Kids today. If they aren't handed everything now, now, no-w-w-w-w-w they're fidgety and bored.

Because life itself has become so multi-tasked, children in the Now Generation who struggle with heightened distractability and hyperactivity may be considered a product of their culture; but, some of them may actually suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD, which we’ll call from here on AD/HD to include hyperactivity disorder. According to the Attention Deficit Disorder Association, the difference between the two terms is mainly one of terminology).

AD/HD can turn everything from a child’s homework completion to everyday social interactions into seemingly insurmountable obstacles. The Centers for Disease Control estimates that more than 4 million children ages 4-17 have been diagnosed with the disorder by a health care professional.

But, What Is AD/HD Really?

Dr. Charlotte Amenkhienan, a counselor at Virginia Tech’s Cook Counseling Center, defines the condition as “a brain-based disorder that affects all aspects of one’s life characterized by inattention and/or hyperactivity, which is more frequent and severe than typically observed in individuals at a comparable level of development."

Amenkhienan goes on to point out that unless properly diagnosed and treated, AD/HD could interfere with one’s academic achievements, self-esteem, and relationships. According to the Attention Deficit Disorder Association, the behaviors must be excessive, long-term, and pervasive in order to be classified as a medical condition. And, must appear before age 7 and continue for at least 6 months, creating a real handicap in at least two life areas, such as school, home, or social settings. These factors are what differentiates AD/HD from the "normal" distractibility and impulsive behavior of childhood...or the effects of a hectic and overstressed lifestyle.

When It’s Not Just “High-Energy”

First, let’s look at symptoms which may indicate that your grandchild has this common, yet polarizing, affliction. If you're concerned, look for behaviors that go beyond what you would normally expect in a rambunctious kid, says Lew Mills, a San Diego, Calif.-based family therapist who treats AD/HD.

“Part of the problem is that your own grandchildren always seem normal to you because they’re yours,” says Mills. “But, if you're hearing that they are excessively getting into trouble, constantly being disruptive in class, or doing risky behavior which may physically hurt them, these may be warning signs." Ask yourself, too, says Mills, if your grandchild seems overly-hyperactive and can’t seem to sit still.

Other signs to look for? Disorganization and a tendency to distraction or inattention says Santa Monica, Calif.-based Barbara Lipscomb, an AD/HD coach, educational specialist and former special education teacher. “If you're hearing that they’re always forgetting the books they need for school and are genuinely frustrated about it, that could also be one,” says Lipscomb.

For girls, symptoms are less likely to emerge in the same way. Instead, see if they are tuning out for unusually long periods of time, to the point where even saying something to them doesn’t seem to “break the spell.”

Jeff Epstein, an assistant professor in the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Duke University Medical Center, says that because females’ warning signs are more subtle, this may be a reason some studies show boys to be as much as 10 times more likely than girls to have AD/HD.

Says Epstein: “When you go out into the epidemiological world, where you'd survey a whole sample of children, the boys’ AD/HD incidence as compared to girls’ is not as high. It's usually two to one, maybe even three to one."

What Can Be Done

The good news is that more than half of the children diagnosed with AD/HD are getting help with the disorder, according to The Centers for Disease Control. So, what are common treatments available?

As far as medication goes, AD/HD is not a Ritalin-only situation, stresses Theresa Lavoie, a clinical psychologist and director of psychological services for the ADD Health and Wellness Centers. You may want to advise your adult children against going “pill happy” with your grandchild, she says, because of the plethora of pharmaceutical choices available to them as treatment. “Adderall has been found to be very effective in treating AD/HD, but it can also cause other problems, and actually increase anxiety or agitation. So, it must be closely monitored,” she says.

No Judgment

Lipscomb believes that an important newer treatment option involves reducing judgment or blame, something that many grandparents and parents may have been guilty of in the past simply because they didn’t grow up when AD/HD was widely known; therefore, they may not have believed it “truly exists” as a medical condition.

Says Lipscomb: “Remember that your grandchildren aren’t doing this on purpose. And, it's important that while they’re getting help, parents and grandparents remain patient with the children because nothing’s a quick fix. More than anything, they just need your love and support.”

Expressing Concern to Parents

Of course, that includes supporting the parents, too. In the end, you won’t be the one making a decision to diagnose your grandchild’s condition or even how to treat it. That doesn't mean though that you can’t be a catalyst.

First, if you mention AD/HD and your grandchild to your adult children, express that you are not faulting the parent(s) in any way. Mention how many millions of children have been diagnosed and helped, so they understand how widespread the condition is, and that common solutions exist.

Finally, let the parents know of your willingness to take an active role in helping your grandchild, whether that involves pitching in to take him or her to doctors' appointments or to-and-from any other treatment that may be required. Let them know that you are on their team and ready to support them in any way that you can.