While shopping recently on New York City’s Upper East Side, I observed a woman holding a toy truck. She inspected it from various angles, poking and prodding its wheels and appendages. "What does this do?" she finally asked a sales associate. "It's a truck," the associate answered. The woman set the toy aside. "I don't want to buy something that doesn't do anything," she said, as if plastic trucks couldn't just vroom along the way they always have in the hands of energetic, imaginative toddlers. "Where are the toys that do something?" she then asked. "I want to give my grandson something that has more value."
It's hard to blame this grandmother for wanting a special toy for her grandson. Some grandparents are loath to admit it, but they're often just as eager to boost their toddler grandchildren's Ivy League chances as the kids' parents are. In the past, grandparents may have chosen toys based on their function or durability, but today many decide which toys to purchase based on their perceived educational value. After all, everyone wants to help make their grandchildren smarter, or at the very least, boost their cognitive, social, and emotional development.
Unfortunately, we often go about this in the worst possible ways. We seek out educational toys and so-called "edutainment" — media that purport to teach as they entertain — but much of it is sold under a misleading premise. Companies eager to capitalize on our hopes, fears, and worries dress up products in smart-sounding packages, with brand-names like "Brainy Baby," "IQ Baby," and "Baby Genius." Subtle, they're not. But while it may seem counterintuitive, grandparents can actually avoid electronic toys labeled with buzzwords like "interactive" when shopping for young children, because electronics on their own don't necessarily make a toy smarter or more interactive.
So-called "smart toys" are, for the most part, traditional toys souped up with computer chips that are supposed to "stimulate" kids. But here's the catch: Babies and young children don’t need that much stimulation. In fact, one could argue that in our attention-deficit-era, our grandchildren are already overstimulated into distraction. The truth is that the best kind of stimulation still comes from human beings, not electronics. Conversing, singing, touching, holding, and exploring beat a "Play-and-Learn Activity Table" any day. Many children today are squeezed into overstructured days even as toddlers. The best gift a grandparent can give them is unstructured playtime, preferably outdoors or around the child's neighborhood.
When you're toy shopping for your grandchildren, here’s a good rule of thumb: The best toys are 90 percent child and ten percent toy. It’s all about what a child does with a toy, not what the toy can do on its own. If a child stacks two plain wooden blocks, he is interacting with them, learning something about the physical properties of objects, and developing fine motor skills. No electronic, musical block can improve on that lesson. In other words, good toys don’t shout — there’s no need for them to make music, chime, buzz, ring, or burst into Mozart.
So you can pass on the Baby Einstein line without guilt — it has no proven pedagogical benefit. You can eject the Beethoven CD if you like; classical music is no better for a child's intellectual development than rock and roll is. And you can skip the infant computer software, too — the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends zero screen time, PC or TV, for kids younger than 2 years old. In fact, that plain old plastic truck will do just fine. Add a grandchild and an afternoon of free time, and you’ll be amazed at everything a child can do with it.
To read about the things grandmothers can teach their grandchildren, click here. Elsewhere on Grandparents.com, find out how to bond with your grandchildren from a distance, learn how to help kids go from "texters" to writers, discover ways to get more alone time with your grandchildren, and join the discussion about whether your grandchildren are "getting older younger."
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