You may not have gotten your first smartphone until age 60, but your grandchildren may have had theirs by age six. And whether you're on your second iPhone or your first Droid, you've certainly noticed that your grandchildren's passion for (if not proficiency with) the device may be far greater than your own. It's a fact of life: The kids, especially the little ones, want to play with your phone, and they want to play with it now. And while it's tempting to give in to the kids' requests, be careful: Once kids have tried the real thing, no toy phone or out-of-date model will do.
When They Can Use It
It's generally fine to let children have some limited time with your phone, as long as they are not allowed unsupervised visits to the internet, or such carte-blanche access that it detracts from their time with you. "It's important for children this age to experience what is in front of them," says preschool teacher Kathy Clarke of Hoboken, New Jersey, "and to interact with people and things in real life. Playing on the phone literally takes them
away from where they are."
Savvy parents and grandparents use limited access to the phone as a reward or incentive for good behavior or completed chores. Many of us have seen how an educational game app, or age-appropriate batch of YouTube videos, can be a life-saver when kids need to be occupied while waiting for a delayed flight or doctor's appointment. On the other hand, you've probably also seen how unpleasant it can be when kids badger adults to let them play with phones at restaurants instead of spending time talking to their families. Even the most educational apps require limits, because, as valuable as they seem for kids, they can't substitute for real-world experience. Young children "learn with their bodies first," Clarke says. "They don't have the skills to truly understand the visual representation in a media experience."
What They Can Do
Work with your children and grandchildren to find applications for your phone that relate to where the kids are developmentally, and that let you learn something new together. For example, you could play a Mandarin-language learning game together and use the words you pick up to enhance a Chinese restaurant experience. Such games keep kids busy but still tuned into their real-life surroundings, rather than lost in a virtual world.
You can also allow children to use the device to capture the world around them. Head out on a neighborhood safari and help them find and record interesting flora and fauna with your phone's still or video camera. Or kids can use video- or voice-recording apps to conduct interviews with you or your family and friends, and then you can turn the tables and make the kids the stars. And kids who know how can write emails to mom and dad about your experiences together.
| Are the kids constantly asking for your cellphone? |
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Yes; they take it and I never get it back 2.6%
Yes; and I let them have it, with limits 41.7%
Yes; but they never get it! 12.2%
No; they never ask 19.1%
No; I don't have one 7.8%
No; they have their own 16.5%
| |
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Limited, supervised smartphone time will not harm your grandkids, but the kids certainly can hurt your phone, in both obvious and subtle ways. Never let kids use the phone without permission, so that if you have settings to limit their access to certain areas, you can activate them before handing it over. Readily available apps like Smart Lock 2.0 limit the applications and websites children can access. Others, like Kid-Mode, by Zoodle, keep children "locked" in a walled garden that offers only age-appropriate content. Both apps, and others like them, ensure that little fingers can't send email, make phone calls, or delete data. Children under 2 1/2 will need you to hold the phone for them while they touch the screen to interact; it's a great way to keep them cuddling even as they play.
Before older children take the phone, make sure they also take steps to minimize the risk of damage, like only using the device while sitting down. And any phone you loan should have a protective case. OtterBox and BodyGlove are just two of the many companies that offer inexpensive, reliable products that protect your smartphone in case it gets dropped by you or a child. Still, accidents can happen, so make sure to keep a close eye on how, when, and where your grandkids use your phone.
With the right preparation and ground rules, you can turn the kids' obsession into shared fun. The most important thing is that you always stay present and tuned in to the children. It's the best way to keep the phone from being the main focus of visits, and instead just one of the many special things that grandparents and kids can play with and experience together.
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