|
|
| Little Megan |
Long Distance - No Distance
by Beverly Beckham
Time. Space. Miles. Months. For young children, these things do not exist.
Lucy and Adam are 4 years old now, not babies anymore, full of words these days, full of questions. “Want to play tent, Mimi? Want to go to the Dairy Barn? Want to get an ice cream?”
Lucy lives across the street. Adam lives just two miles away. I see them almost every day. I play tent. I take them for ice cream. They sleep over.
You’d think I’d be their favorite grandparent.
But that’s the beauty of children. They don’t have favorites. They know who loves them and they love those people back. Near or far. White hair or no hair. Funny or grumpy. Young grandparents or old grandparents.
A child’s love is that pure and simple.
Lucy’s Nona and Pop-Pop live in New Jersey. But place doesn’t matter to Lucy. She asks for them. She calls them on the phone. She smiles when you say their names. She runs to them when they visit.
Grammy and Grampy live way up in Bangor, Maine but when they arrive at Adam’s door, it’s as if they were there just yesterday. “Grampy! Come play with me.” “Grammy! Come see my new swing set.”
Adam and Lucy have the words now to tell us that they love. But long before they had words, they showed us. When they were infants, they lay in their visiting grandparents' arms and studied them. They cooed. They smiled. They touched their hair. They reached for them. And they laughed.
When they were 5 months and 9 months and 12 months and 16 months, they crawled to these grandparents, they stood for them, they clapped, they babbled, they toddled.
It didn’t matter that these grandparents weren’t around every day cheering them on. The days they had were enough. Nona and Pop-Pop loved Lucy and Lucy loved them back. Grammy and Grampy loved Adam and he loved them back. It was that simple.
Love, I always knew, had the magic to transcend distance. But what I didn’t know, until Lucy and Adam showed me, is that a child’s love actually negates it. Time. Space. Miles. Months. These things do not exist.
Unlike romantic love, which needs words to make itself heard, needs heartfelt poems, flowery prose, e-mail, text messages, songs, two cans and a string, a child’s love needs nothing.
It is like water and air and sunshine and flowers: abundant, and there for the taking.
Still, last summer, when my youngest grandchild, Megan was born in Manhattan, a four-hour drive away, despite what Adam and Lucy had shown me, I wondered. What would our relationship be like? How could it grow if we were seldom together? Would she like me? Would she even know me? How could I be a good Mimi if I didn’t swaddle her and sing to her and rock her to sleep once in a while? If I didn’t know what songs she liked, what books, what foods?
Silly, silly me.
She is 9 months old now and I go to New York City to see her sometimes. And she comes to Boston, sometimes, with her mom and dad and Joey the dog. And it’s not so far.
When we’re together, I read her books and feed her lunch and a bottle and hold her and play peek-a-boo and “This little piggy.” And she smiles her big, beautiful forget-the-face-that-launched-a-thousand-ships smile. Helen of Troy, you have nothing on this one. And I think, Wow. How do children do this? How do they make time stop and the world disappear? How do they make the world become just them, their sweet breath, their tinkley laugh, their bright, happy eyes and smooth skin and tiny fingers, their gentle smiles, their wispy hair?
A small child never says, “Where have you been? Why didn’t you come sooner? Why aren’t you bigger and smarter and funnier and richer and neater?”
No expectations. No disappointments. Nothing but love. And a smile. And soon, very soon, a “Hi, Mimi!”
| What can I say but you capture the feelings of my Granparenting experiences and write so eloquently!From Nanny in California to Mimi in Boston,continue your expressing what so many feel but so few can express.As I said to David,your column was what made me learn about www.Grandparents.com.I'm now the West Coast consultant and I look at you as an inspiration.Fondly,DianeFond
|
| I just came back home from being with our first grand child for the first 2 and a half months of her precious life. We live 1,630 miles apart. I miss her so much and wonder if she'll remember me. This article gave me the hope and reassurance I needed. Thank you for expressing what I was feeling. Denise
|
| Just wanted to say that the artical is so right about distance not meaning anything. My grandson is in Canada and when he is having a bad day he runs to the phone and hits the speed dial and calls his Grammy. Its a great feeling to talk to him for as long as he wants.
|
| I am a grandmother who lives 2500 miles from my only grandchild. He's six years old and when he was born I was afraid that he wouldn't know me since I can only see him twice a year, but my fears were unfounded. He calls me on the phone to tell me exciting things he's done, or just to tell me he loves me and when I visit, it's like we haven't been apart. Being a grandparent is the best thing in the world!
|
| I am a grandmother who lives 2500 miles from my only grandchild. He's six years old and when he was born I was afraid that he wouldn't know me since I can only see him twice a year, but my fears were unfounded. He calls me on the phone to tell me exciting things he's done, or just to tell me he loves me and when I visit, it's like we haven't been apart. Being a grandparent is the best thing in the world!
|
1 more comments. see all
|
