The African-American Grandparenting Experience

Louisiana “Lou” Bendolph and Yvonne Wells are African-American grandmothers who share their heritage with the world in the form of colorful quilts.

Bendolph, who is part of the world-renowned Gee’s Bend quilting alliance, grew up in the early 1960s, picking cotton in Alabama fields with her younger sister. She never knew her maternal grandparents and rarely got to see her paternal grandparents. Despite that, quilting, she says, is something she inherited. “My great-grandmother quilted… and my mom. We would play up on the quilt and watch the needle go in and out. And then we would pick up strings off the floor.”

Her work can now be seen at various museums around the United States as part of a traveling exhibition titled “Gee’s Bend: The Architecture of the Quilt.” Bendolph, who hails from the esteemed Pettway quilting family, has four daughters, ages 10, 18, 26, and 28, and five grandchildren, ages 24 months to 13 years. She also lost a 2-year-old grandson, Orlando, who died of an enlarged heart. "He was kind of like an angel," she says. "I did some fine-art prints about him called 'Going Home.'"

Yvonne Wells stands before one of her masterpieces

Based in Tuscaloosa, Ala., Wells’s works are currently on display around the world and at the new International Quilt Study Center and Museum in Lincoln, Neb. She taught in the public-school system for 35 years before retiring but still substitutes and manages to make about six quilts a year from her home. Without patterns or templates, this award-winning, self-taught artist incorporates sociopolitical and religious themes into her pieces. The 68-year-old grandma has two children and four grandchildren ranging in age from 11 to 18.

Wells was raised with meager means and her parents died very young, yet she remembers her maternal grandmother, “Aunt Babe,” as a strong woman who was determined that the children become “people of goals. We want y'all to be somebody,” Wells remembers her saying. “Very strong-willed, independent people.”

Through quilting, both Bendolph and Wells pay tribute to their family history and their current roles as grandparents.

Grandparents.com: What do you want your grandchildren to know about your history and your art?

Yvonne Wells: It’s just like a book, a storybook. As opposed to me writing it, I’m making it out of fabric.

Louisiana “Lou” Bendolph: A lot of our lives is put into the quilts. Most of the time you’re doing it you’re thinking about your life. It’s about when we used to pick cotton and put scrap cotton up in the quilts when we had to sleep up on 'em.

GP: Has quilting become a family affair?

YW: My daughters say, “Mama, this is your thing. You do it.” My son sets me up during shows. The grandboys help me fold. Sometimes my granddaughter will get a needle and put something together, then I’ll incorporate it into the quilt I’m making.

Louisiana with her youngest daughter Alleeanna, quilting

LB: My oldest two [daughters], they got to spend summers at their grandmother’s house and they would watch her quilt. My oldest daughter made one when she was in the third grade and won third prize for that quilt. But [my daughter and granddaughter] started [drawing] quilts on paper. A few quilts I made have been based on their designs.

GP: Is there symbolism in the designs you choose?

YW: There may be. And it may be more in the traditional quilt than what I do. I do, however, have one piece that is very prominent in my quilt. It’s a triangle, the trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Also there’s the sun with four rays indicating that it is shining — that of hope.

LB: All of my designs are based on a housetop. It came from when, you know, the houses in Gee’s Bend weren’t that good. So you could look up through the roof of the house and the chimney sits in the middle and you keep goin’ around the chimney.

GP: What makes your relationship with your grandchildren special?

YW: A grandparent is the extension of Mama. A grandmother sometimes is the mother. It’s a responsibility. You really need to talk to them.

LB: Nowadays a lot of grandparents have to step in and raise grandkids. The new generation somehow doesn’t seem to have time for their kids. I have a 13-year-old granddaughter who my daughter had when she was very young and I raised her until she turned 10, then her mom got her.

“My mother said... never worry about what everyone else has. You never know how they got it.”

It was wonderful; I had raised her since she was a baby. I talked to her about being proud of who you are. It doesn’t matter what color you are. You can do anything you want to do.

GP: What do you think is particularly special about being an African-American grandma?

YW: I hope what makes African-American grandparents so special is stability. Stability makes a good home. Less interruptions. A routine, that’s stability for us. When there’s something that comes up, we all hone in on it. We should be the lead, especially if the kids are from a broken home. Grandparents should take that responsibility and pass that on. We are not cornerstones — we are sometimes pillars. Grandmama’s gonna be here. My husband and I are the focal point. Our house is here — no matter what happens, you have a home. I always let them know that there is a place that they can always come.

LB: I don’t think we’re more special than any grandparent. Any grandparent, in my opinion, is important.

GP: I bet the grandkids love your cooking. What are their favorites?

Jusaya Deshaun and a quilt by his grandmother, Bendolph

YW: When they’re hungry, it’s "Grandmama, I like everything you cook!" [Laughs] Right now, what I’m cooking is cornbread, which I’ve just about eaten a whole skillet of already. And someone brought me some collard greens. They’re delicious. I also can cook pies that are delicious. Sweet-potato pies — the kids like those.

LB: I do a lot of baking and cooking. I rarely measure stuff. I just go by tasting. I do a peach cobbler from scratch and sweet-potato pies and all that kind of stuff.

GP: What words of wisdom do you pass on to your grandchildren?

YW: My mother said... never worry about what everyone else has. You never know how they got it. Live within your means.