The Cherokee Grandparenting Experience
A tribe of ancient heritage and proud lineage, and its struggle against fragmentation
by Erin Blakemore
When Mary Jane Ferguson, 56, held her firstborn grandchild in the delivery room, she wasn’t just witnessing a landmark moment for her family. She was transitioning into the role of a Cherokee grandmother, one of the most respected and important roles in Cherokee Indian society. Ferguson’s journey through Cherokee grandparenting has brought her into close communion with her precious grandson — and the rich traditions of her native culture.
“I always searched for a grandmother figure of my own,” says Ferguson, who was born and raised in Cherokee, North Carolina. Nestled at the foot of the Great Smoky Mountains and home to the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians, Cherokee offered a culture governed by women (known as a “matrilineal society”). Though there were plenty of female role models in her childhood, Ferguson, whose grandparents died before she was born and one who died when she was a young child, didn’t personally know the special bond shared by grandparents and grandchildren until the day she held newborn Justin in her hands.
“It was a powerful experience,” she says. “I just knew he was meant to be mine. He’s definitely accorded Most Precious status in our family.” In many ways, Ferguson’s experiences as a grandmother have been typical. She’s had to relearn patience for a young child, struggle with her daughter’s child-rearing decisions and deal with hard goodbyes – her grandson, now nearly six years old, lives some 200 miles away in Advance, North Carolina. But her role as grandmother is enhanced — and complicated — by her cultural heritage.
Cherokee culture typically revolves around a close-knit nuclear family, often with multiple generations living together under one roof or very close by. Though she misses out on the traditional experience of communal living and even sleeping with her grandson, Ferguson manages to keep a thriving bond through summertime visits, phone calls and special rituals. She has introduced him to Cherokee traditions by involving him in the annual Cherokee Indian Fair, a kind of homecoming for her supportive native community. The fair, which just celebrated its 95th anniversary, showcases agricultural products, cultural art and community exhibits that celebrate the year’s hard work and accomplishments. Tribal members, from far and wide, return to Cherokee for the annual festival, which Ferguson tries to celebrate with Justin and her entire family each year.
Ferguson continuously exposes Justin to the dying Cherokee language and her own collection of native arts and crafts, hoping to pass on a sense of tradition and legacy. She fondly recalls a mesmerized Justin, who, at age four, was fascinated by Unto These Hills, an outdoor play that tells a condensed history of the Cherokee people. Other cultural expeditions include visiting the Oconaluftee Indian Village and the Museum of the Cherokee Indian.
For Ferguson, the benefits of Cherokee grandparenting go far beyond her own family. As a grandmother, she’s accorded cultural honors at home and in her community. “Reaching grandmother status has been a special experience,” she says. “You’re viewed as a tribal elder, someone who is wise and knowledgeable. I was accorded respect as a Cherokee mother, but my status as grandmother is different. I’ve come full circle into my matrilineal heritage, and it’s a powerful thing.”
Ferguson, who grew up with strong female role models, finds it natural to have taken on a role that includes both leadership and authority. She offers wisdom in the form of lessons about cultural respect and traditional rituals, such as using plants for medicinal and decorative purposes. Equally important is the “protection” she offers the family — in the form of an involved elder who cares for the young ones. In return, this Cherokee grandmother is assured lifetime care and respect from her family and fellow members of the tribe.
In the future, Ferguson will involve Justin more in cultural celebrations and ceremonies, such as storytelling and native dance at the local Festival of Native Peoples; he, in turn, will care for her and respect her later in life. But for now, Ferguson acknowledges that there’s much to learn in her new role. “It’s been challenging to be an authority figure while listening to my grandson. I consider it a balancing act to instill a sense of pride and responsibility about our native people while allowing him to have fun and be a kid. All in all, I know Justin was made for me. I’ve earned this place as a Cherokee woman.”
Ferguson is delighted with her grandson’s Cherokee pride, boasting that he shares stories and his cultural heritage at school and with friends. And she sees her new role as grandmother as just another link in a long chain. “I didn’t feel ready to be a grandmother at first,” she admits, noting that she had to adjust to the idea of her daughter being all grown up and that her time as a female Cherokee elder was approaching. “Now, [my grandmother status] connects me to my culture.”
While Ferguson notes that her tribe still faces challenges such as stereotyping and minority status, she acknowledges that her ancient heritage and proud lineage is a great privilege in an increasingly fragmented mainstream society. Justin serves as a link to her Cherokee past — and the future that awaits their people. “He reminds me that it’s incumbent on all Cherokee to pass our culture down to future generations.”
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