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Have a Daughter-in-Law Horror Story?
In the article That Evil Daughter Law, Elaine's daughter-in-law tosses her engagement ring into the soap dish. What hurtful, shocking, disappointing thing has your daughter-in-law done? Share your story!
Don't have a daughterinlaw horror, but how about a soninlaw one? He is raising my 3 granddaughters, who are the children of my daughter in Mississippi, not the daughter he is married to. Anyhow, he will not allow the girls to see their mother, and hubby and I think, he is planting info in their heads, so they don't want to see us.
i have a son-in-law horror story. While my daughter and him and their son (my new grandson) were visiting for the Christmas holidays, my son-in-law spent every night out drinking with his buddies, wouldn't take my daughter out with him, and would end up back at home the next afternoon, and wouldn't tell my daughter where he was. They got into a big screaming match during our Christmas dinner, and he took off out the door (to go drinking again), and didn't come back home for four days. Nobody knew where he was, we all thought he was dead or something, and when he did finally come back home, it was December 30th at around 3:30 in the morning,drunk out of his mind, and he brought home one of his buddies, who he let sleep on our couch. And get this, my daughter FORGAVE HIM!!!!! I am so worried about her and my grandson. Any advice I've tried to give her has resulted in her lashing out at me. What should I do??
I have an unusual DIL. She is a only child and very close to her mother. All this is fine, but she even admitted when I first met her that she calls her mom 2-3 times daily, even if she has spent the day with her. Her parents moved two blocks away from her when they moved to another state. Anyway, when my granddaughter was born, she informed me that I should be sending gifts for every holiday, else how would my granddaughter remember who I was. I eventually explained to her that I would not be doing that. Presents are not the way a grandparent should be remembered. I admit that I've been late getting birthday presents into the the mail on time, but she gets them. I have never spoken badly to her, done anything to upset her other than the gift thing as far as I know. She is always just as nice as can be when I have been allowed to visit. I always compliment her about what a great Mom she is and try to help around the house while she's at work. My problem is that my daughter & I are not allowed to visit my son or grandchildren at all anymore. Her last remark was that they moved into a tiny 1500 sf home and there just wasn't room for guests. Also, they didn't want any "guests" during the time I was trying to arrange to visit. She won't pick up the phone or answer emails, so communication is horrible. My son is miserable. He says he never knows if he is going to be served with divorce papers or what. He said if it wasn't for the kids, he'd be gone. He knows that she would make life worse and try to turn the kids against him. Now the kids, ages 8 & 10 are wondering why they can't see me. Two years ago they came to my daughter's wedding and stayed in a motel less than 30 miles from my house. She told me at the wedding that it was too bad I lived so far away because they would have visited me that weekend. She refuses to let my son bring the kids to visit me. When my husband died, I had to call her mother to get hold of anyone. She has ran off any friends my son had and is totally self centered. She is a controlling, selfish bitch as far as I'm concerned. Does anyone else have a DIL like this? Any suggestions on how I can see my grandchildren without it causing more turmoil?
My daughter in law has ruined my world but the saddest thing is, that my son let her do it. She never really liked my husband and I because we tried to make our son be a respectable, mature adult. She was always handed things in life, my son however earned what he got. She expected us to be there when she wanted us to be, to help only when she thought that we should and keep our opinon to ourselves. She allowed us to get close to the grand baby, letting her sleep over, ( so they could go out ) and letting me keep her anytime I asked. Then all of the sudden without warning, my son tells us that SHE has decided that our grand daughter is no longer welcome in our home. No explanation, just that SHE thinks it's best. Well, sadly my son did nothing to stop her. That was 6 months ago, we have not seen either our son or grand daughter since. No phone calls, no contact what so ever. I don't know why my dil did this to us, the only reason I can come up with is that the baby is the weapon she has to use. If my husband and I had done anything wrong I might could accept this, but the only thing we did was love our gd and not allow our son to become a bum.
I,too ,am at a loss. The story is very long and I am so tired of telling it and asking my friends and family for their advice. No one really has any good advice. No matter what I do, nothing is right in my daughter-in-laws eyes--and my son has taken her views. She, and this is as it should be, has my son's ear. Men will always do what their wife wants so that their lives can be happy in their home. What is so sad, and what our sons will reap the fruits of, is that they will never again have the mom they used to and the grandchildren will never truly know their grandmothers that love them so dearly. By treating us (good moms and grandmommies) with such disrespect after such long hard work of raising sons, they have ruined the way we think of them. I have no respect at all for my youngest son. Mother's of sons are ridiculed for everything. I raised two very good sons. I was only 17 when I had my first son and 20 when I had my second son. Both of them are professionals and doing very well professionally. But, their wife and one ex-wife hate me. I am not just defending myself. I am an excellent christian lady, a professional and am very successful. I would do whatever they asked. The oldest allows me to see my grandsons when I want to and they both love me. The youngest married a very young girl who is very close to her parents. Her parents lost two children and, I believe, seriously control her without her realizing it. She has managed to convince my son that I am "the devil". If I call--then, she said I shouldn't; if I do not call--then, she said I should; I gave my son and her a 4,000.00 rehearsal dinner (I was single at the time.) and they complained because I did not help host a "tool party" my other daugther-in-law gave. They woudn't stay with me when they came to visit, because they said my house was too small and it had roaches. (And, it did have roaches and I took care of that with the pest control.) I have not seen my son nor grandson in over 3 years. They will not even speak to me. I called his pastor and his pastor told me that Danny, my son, told him that my life was ungodly. What a silly comment. I just told the pastor to call my church and ask about me.
Anyway, there is no way to win with a daughter-in-law these days. My mother-in-law was horrible to me, but I never thought of keeping my sons away from their grandmother who loved them even though she did not love me. My husband took them and I just stayed home. My own mother sold one of her grandchildren, so I was very afraid to have her be around my two boys.
I just give up with my youngest son. I will never trust him again and God will punish him--it is just a matter of time.
Never thought I would be taking part in this discussion but here I am.
I have been with our eldest son and his family (see my pages for a better insight as to why). Until five weeks ago I have always been happy with the women our sons married. Sure there have been rough spots but don't all relationships have them? The past five weeks have had many challenges for me to over come and bite my tongue so often it has been hard to eat with a clamped shut mouth. ;o) The other night though left me feeling unwanted and out of the fold when our daughter-in-law said to me, "You must be anxious to get back to your family." When I started to reply that I am with family, ( half of the ten of us lives in the house), she said, "you know what I mean, To Grandad and Teddy (my dog)". Yes I do know what she meant we are considered outsiders and have been for years... We have felt it before this but that slip of the tongue proved it... Really if she had of been thinking she would have said HOME not family....
Are ther any g/kids involved yet??? If there is no g/kids yetsI would"HIGHLY RECCOMEND" your son to get RID OF HER!!!!!!!!! If she is throwing rings now , What would she throw around as time brings innonence grandchildren. TRUST ME, the law, courts, could care less too. It's "BREAD & BUTTER" for 18 years in the court system. Tell your SON, enough is enough!!!!!!!!!!!! It's time to move forward!!!!!!!
I lost my son in July 2005. He was 17 when he was shot and killed by the hands of a 16 year old boy. We buried him August 4th and shortly after that, August 15th his girlfriend gave birth to a baby boy .Shortly after that Katrina hit New Orleans, La. and my life have never been the same. I was upset when my son told me this girl was going to have his baby. Neather one of them was finish high school at the time. My son was attending school but she wasn't. She is not the kind of girl you bring home to meet your mom, her family is not the kind of family you would want to be a part of. However, this was his girlfriend. My son an I had talked befor his death and he beleive this was his baby. He was expending a son a Jr. and I have been their from day one. I bought all the baby clothes, shoes blankes ever thing you need for a newborn I bought it. We lost contact after Katrina for about 2 months. He visit ed 2 months with me when he was just 3 months and when he was 9 months I had him a month after he made a year he visited 2 or 3 months with me. I sent him stuff when he not with me. Now , he will soon be 3 years old and she want let me see or talk to him because she want me to send her the money. Not because the baby need something, but for her. To do what with I asked? She told me"for me" Well I am not going to do that because she she think I am a money bag. When she got a job for number one and for number two she don't take care of the clothes, shoes and stuff I buy for him now. Every time I go to get him she can't never find his close or his shoes. He always got some doller store clothes on. I send him Gap Kid, Macy, Children Place and Roc Awear , Nike, Timberlin, Kenny Cole shoes. He never have the stuff when I go to get him. I told her I not tring to steal the baby from her all I want to do is show him positive things. She live in a house with her mothe and father along with 8 children plus a host of cousins and eveybody else. It's not a health evironment. I tried to tell my son that before he got killed by one of the boys that hung out at her house. The mom and dad just have babies the dont raise their kid The kids raise each other. It's one of those houseswhere all the thugs hing out at and still do. It's sad to say but they are just trifilen from the mama on down. The house is allllllways funky. People told me when the saw my son with her to break that up. People told me they been that kind of a family. I could not under stand for the life in me why he wanted to be with this girl any way. Ok , well he said she was kind of cuit and find. Yes , but with dont't know how to use the brain God gave her. My son was not like them he was not raised like that, and they all knew it. He just got his nose open by the wrong girl. I just pray for her and ask God to keep my grandson safe. I love him so much
My daughter-in-law up and left my son in January along with their 6 yr old son and 1yr old handicapped daughter to move in with a total stranger that she met on the internet who lives in another country and is 20 years her senior...She tore up their wedding pictures, threw out the wedding & honeymoon videos, told my son that she never loved him as much as she loves her new beau, packed up and moved out after 9 years of marriage! She says that she can have a perfectly good relationship with the children over the webcam & internet & plans to read them a story every now & then...
My ex-son-in-law thought we were his local ATM. In order to get anything done that needed to be corrected on anything, he was not above asking specifically for cash and an amount. he was not above making up stories as to why he needed the money. Once we were told he was being blackmailed by the baby-sitter, and if we did not give hi $300 to give her, the baby-sitter was going to call DCFS and have our granddaughter placed in foster care. He didn't like our suggestion that he bring the baby to us until the whole thng blew over.
He is military, although why they keep him I have no idea. When his younger daughter was born, my daughter, the babies, and he stayed with us for a month. It was Christmas time. He never lifted a finger to help. He wanted to cook separate meals for himself, did not want to sit at the dinner table with the rest of us, and had a complaint about every single thing I cooked. He drained our liquor cabinet, and we are not big drinkers to begin. Most of all, he did not watch his toddler or baby, to the point where the toddler got loose in the snow in a diaper and nothing else. I brought her in, and was taking laundry out of the car (our washer and dryer broke that Christmas- fun). The toddler hid in the bathroom closet, but this idiot was going to confine a two-year to a room for the entire day to watch videos because she was "bad". This was after I caught him in bed with my daughter who had just had a c-section, trying to persuade her to have relations! I am not ashamed to say that despite my gender, I nailed that &$(&$ alcoholic against the wall and kneed him where it hurts, then gave him a piece of my mind (He didn't need much)
The last time he asked, my attorney dealt with it. He hinted around for money in exchange for signing away his parental rights. He didn't get any.
I'm just curious- anyone here have any M-I-L horror stories? Even times when they themselves had behaved badly?
I'm really tired of hearing how the D-I-L's are always the cause of problems. I've bent over backwards for my in-laws (especially my M-I-L) and since her son proposed I suddenly went from being "part of the family" to enemy number one. We're now married and expecting our first baby- they won't even recognize our child. It's sad- because of their doing my child won't know their paternal grandparents.
This is heartbreaking to read these stories. The worst part is that the grandchildren are the ones hurt the worse. Whenever a family is broken apart, whether it be from death, or divorce, there are deep scars. For all of you going through this, I am really sorry. So far, and that could change, I have been fortunate in my relationships with my in laws. My MIL was a good woman, and I had a lot of respect for her. The only thing that caused a rift in our relationship, but not a permanent one, was when my last son was born ( I had 3 daughters from a previous marriage) she treated him differently from my other children, bringing him many gifts, treats,treating him as her "real" grandchild and making the other children feel less then. While I understood that her feelings toward my son would probably be different, I expected her to be the adult and to remember that step-grandchildren already feel very insecure in their place in a family and she needed to be sensitive to that. Eventually, my husband had a long talk with her, and she realized that my husband was just as hurt to see her favoring our son, above our daughters. He has never referred to my daughters as his step-children, he always said" These are my daughters...." It was his family that had a hard time accepting that.In his eyes, all of the children were on equal ground. SO, if my MIL was writing in this forum, she probably would tell everyone we limited her time with her grandson......but she wouldn't come clean on why we felt we had to. I explained to her once that we had to work 10 times harder than other families to come together as a group, and either she was with us, or against us. She got on board, and when she died last year, I knew I had lost someone I truly had come to love.
My daughter inlaw invented the word evil. I never in my life would think a women can turn a family up side down as she has done to mine. She now expecting her first child my first grandchild and I dont think I can have a loving relationship with my grandchild because my daughter inlaw is evil. I have no idea why my son sits back and allowes her to do all the harm she has done and better yet agrees with her. I'm very happy to fine this site to see I'm not alone in this world with a evil daughter inlaw
I just posted this in another thread, but i got the website wrong. It is from gotquestions.com. I should also let you know that I am a daughter in law and I have a daughter in law. My mom also has a daugher in law. I have seen things from all sides pretty much. So here goes: A meddling mother-in-law who is demanding, controlling, and intrudes into the lives of her son/daughter and son/daughter-in-law is what the Bible calls a "busybody" (1 Timothy 5:13). The meaning of the Greek word that is translated "busybody" in the 1 Peter passage means, "a self appointed overseer in other men's matters." That describes what some mothers-in-law are engaged in, or at least accused of. This kind of behavior is annoying, very frustrating, and contrary to God's plan for the family.
Obviously, the dynamics in such a situation are frustrating. Some mothers-in-law do these things because no one else in the family has given them boundaries. Therefore, she becomes an overbearing "bully." Perhaps she does not even realize how intrusive and controlling she is. To her it may just be "loving." If that is the case, perhaps a heart-to-heart talk will clear the air. If she does understand what she is doing and does it on purpose even after she has been asked to stop, then there is nothing that you are going to be able to do to alter that.
Regardless of which side of the family the interference comes from, it is an assault upon the sanctity of the marriage and violates the "leave and cleave" of God's order for marriage (Genesis 2:23-24). A man and woman leave their birth families and begin a new family, and they are to love and protect each other. A husband who allows his mother or his mother-in-law to interfere with his marriage is not living up to the commandment given to husbands in Ephesians 5:25-33. Boundaries need to be set and then held regardless of the resistance encountered. The reality is that people treat us the way we allow them to treat us. If we permit them to trample the sanctity of our family, then that is what they will do. No one, not even our extended family, has the right to invade the privacy of our home and it is the responsibility of the husband to guard that privacy. He should take the lead in gently—but firmly—explaining to his mother-in-law what she is doing that is over the line and assuring her that such behavior cannot be tolerated. He should remind her that God has given him the responsibility for his family and to relinquish any of that responsibility to her is to disobey God. He should also assure her that he and his wife still love her, but that the relationship has changed and he is in charge now. That is God’s design for the family and that is the way it will be. Then the couple must stand firm in their resolve.
What can we do about reacting to a woman who acts in the way a meddling mother-in-law does? We can make a choice not to allow her to take away our peace of mind. We may not be able to change the way others behave, but how we respond to their behavior is our choice. We can allow the actions of other people to get to us, or we can choose to give it over to God and allow Him to use this to strengthen us spiritually. It our own response to this type of situation that fuels our frustration. Only we can stop wearing ourselves out emotionally by allowing a interfering mother-in-law's actions to be the arbiter of our own peace. Her behavior is not our responsibility, our response is.
Parents and in-laws should be treated with respect and love, but we must not allow our emotions to entangle us. The best way to disengage an enemy is to make them an ally. This is done through God’s grace. Christians can always give the grace of forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32). It may not stop a mother-in-law from interfering, but it will be a source of strength and peace to stand in (Ephesians 6:11-17). The only place to find true peace of heart is in a personal relationship with God through Christ. Only then can we respond by resting in His peace.
Recommended Resource: The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness by John MacArthur.
