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I have two of my Grandchildren that was taken away from their mother and put up for adoption. My son is no better than the mother and the court would not consider him. Me and my husband were asked but could not because the kids live in another state and cps would forever be a part of our lives. We visted the kids while they were in foster care and was torn apart when they let two differt family adopt them. The familys of the kids do not want them to have any connection with the grandparents what so ever . I love and miss my grandkids so much and I can't help but worry about how they are being treated. I have not talked with the mother since that happened I just can't. The last I hear she has had another child for my son and going on another one. How can a GRANDPARENT'S rights and love be taken away so quickly? I love and miss them so and my family will never be complete until they come back to us again!
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chicyone
12/18/07 @ 07:39 PM
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At the begining of this year I had 4 grandchildren. Now at the end of the year I legally don't have any. My son and daughter in law are having a tough time right now. Finacially I could not afford to adopt them no matter how much I would have love to. They have all been adopted by different families. I would like to know how you are dealing with your grandkids being adopted. I miss them so much and worry about how they are doing. Please let me know if you have any advice for me on how to handle the loss.
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grandmamissouri
12/18/07 @ 09:02 PM
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Hi grandmamissouri, I just wanted to say thanks for responding I really needed to know that someone other then myself was going through this adoption of Grandkids. It makes it better to talk with someone that is going through the same thing. I am so sorry about your Grandkids. There is no easy way of handling this besides turning it over to GOD.It's because of him I am able to cope with all of this but having someone to talk to about it really makes it better. I hope you continue checking in on me and let me know if you have made any progress! I would like to check in on you also. Maybe you and I can start a group discussion on Grandparents with adopted Grandchildren, I would love to have others give their insite on this also. Its real and it happens each and everyday. Thanks and let me know what you think about what I said. Have a great day!
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chicyone
12/21/07 @ 07:55 PM
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So much depends on what state you live in. But, CPS in your lives would be better than your grandchildren not being in your lives. Still, grandparents main joy is interlocked with the parents and that is a fact. Whatever system of belief you have use it to invest in thoughts of your grandchildren being treated well and growing up happy from this point on. Do what you can to keep track of them even though you cannot contact them. Leave some sort of communication for them in the event you pass before they find you. You can leave pictures and letters where you tell them they were loved by you.
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GrammyTall
12/22/07 @ 11:34 AM
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Hi Grammy Tall thanks for responding, I have quite a few pictures, taped phone conversations and lovely memories of my Grandkids.When they were in the foster home we spent good times together! They certainly know me as a Grandmother and the love that I have shared with them and I'm sure this will be with them for the rest of their lives. As a Grandmother I personally don't feel that I have to accept CPS in my life in order to be able to have my Grandkids in my life. That is the choice I made and I stand behind that 100%. l have also included my Grandkids in quite a few things in the event of my passing. Their parents are young and have been given love all of their lives I just can't interlock joy with them right now, but I still love them! I have an attorney working on my visitation rights as a Grandparent of an adopted child. "We do have visitation rights even if they are adopted". Have a great day!
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chicyone
12/23/07 @ 01:51 AM
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Happy New Year Chicyone and Grammy Tall, I have one question for you.. What is your responce when you are asked how many grandkids do you have? Do you go in to that they are adopted out to another family? Please let me know. I don't know how to answer those questions. Thank you grandmamissouri
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grandmamissouri
12/27/07 @ 09:31 PM
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Happy New Years to to Grandmamissouri! I'm so glade that you responded! listen when asked how many Grandchildren you have always include the ones that are adopted, I do. You donot have to go into all that detail just include them because they will always be your Gramdkids regardless of whom they are with! If love was given when they were with you that will follow them forever!
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chicyone
01/03/08 @ 12:00 AM
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I am brand new to this board. I am a single grandmother in the process of adopting my 3 year old grandson. My daughter has given up her parental rights.
Everyone has to make the decision that is right for them..and I could not give up my baby to foster care.
I am going to be moving within the year back to my home state of Mass to be with my family and have great support and help.Good LUCK
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nannysboy
01/04/08 @ 09:28 PM
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Hi nannysboy, I just wanted to welcome you to this website and I'm sure you will be getting quite a bit of friendly advise. You know honey no one is flawless. We all have made mistakes one time or another and thats life. Our kids are human too and we have to remember that. That was a hard decision that your daughter made but she knew that it was the right thing to do. My grandkids that was adopted were taken away by cps and later put up for adoption. As hard as it may have sound we chose not to adopt them because we did not want cps in our lives! we didn't refuse the grandkids we refused cps being along with them in our lives! Each person has to make a decision that is best for their situation and we felt that this was the best thing to do. we love and miss them so and when asked how many grandkids we have we always include them. We are presently fighting for our rights to spend time with them. I have one question I hope you don't mind my asking--WHEN THE CHILD GETS OLDER HOW WILL YOU ADDRESS YOUR SITUATION REGARDING HIS MOM GIVING UP HER RIGHTS AND YOU ADOPTING HIM? ALSO WHAT HAPPENS IF HE COMES TO YOU AND SAY I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY MOM? HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS? YOU ARE A WONDERFUL GRANDMOTHER AND I HOPE THAT HE WILL LOVE AND RESPECT THAT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. I admire what you've done and I hope that it all works out for you. I would love for us to keep in touch.
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chicyone
01/10/08 @ 07:22 PM
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thank you for posting your comments on this board. I have learned a lot from you guys. Lets keep on sharing with each other about our journey as being grandparents of children that were are adopted and those kids we have adopted to our own.
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grandmamissouri
01/13/08 @ 04:43 PM
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Hi grandmamissouri, I'm glade to hear that you have learned a lot from our comments. I have to admit I have learned a lot also! It's so good to know that their are others that are going through the same thing that we are. When I first decided to make that first comment I was wondering if there were others going through this like me and if so I just wanted to be able to communicate with them. that away I could let some of this I'm going through out! I've seen this happen to others and never never knew that it would happen to me. talking it over with people that is going through the same or simular situation really helps. Keep on checking in with us and I hope it helps you to know that there are others going through it to.
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chicyone
01/17/08 @ 08:31 PM
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Hi Chicy, I feel sad for you. I love my grands (7) as much as you. I watch mine go thru pure de hell. I live close. I have no rights, if I say something, it is a fight, or she will take the oldest from me. I raised him since he was 1 untill 5, haven't left his side, even though it means I gave up everything to stand by him. She is my daughter, but the love for my children over ride anything she says or does. I can't stand these young parents. Terrible...poor kids
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grandmasue
02/07/08 @ 02:13 PM
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Hi grandmasue, I have to agree with you about these young parents. They know everything and you can't tell them nothing. I surely feel and understand what you are going through. I do love and miss my grandkids but I have to trust in God that they are ok and that they will remember me when they get old enough to make decisions on their own. I hope it works out better for you and your grandkids. also keep praying for your daughter to be able to see the good within you. Most of the times our kids don't see the good in their parents until they are no longer around. KEEP YOUR TRUST AND FAITH AND THE REST WILL COME TO YOU! (I PROMISE)
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chicyone
02/07/08 @ 10:56 PM
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I am not sure I understand why you believe cps would have been forever in your life if you had adopted your grandchildren. I am also wondering if because of the emotional trauma you seem to be suffering at this point if you might not have done a little research to see if there was some other way to have gained permanent custody. I don't care what I have to go thru if there is a possiblity of keeping my family together (even dealiing with cps). Once children are adopted to another family any connection they had with there biological family can be severed and there is not a thing for you to do. In some cases the biological parents can attempt to undo the mess they have made. I would suggest even at this point you familiarize yourself with the legal possiblities of permanent custody as a biological relative and be ready for a long and ugly fight and know that adoption usually means that cps is done and case closed. Is this different in your state?
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SJNelson
02/12/08 @ 03:55 PM
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Hi SJNelson I am more than happy to reply ! You see my grandkids are in another state and at the time when they were in foster care cps in that state where the kids were would not let us have them without the permission of cps out here where I live. That was not an easy thing to do. We filled out all kind of paperwork, went in to the office talked with them then they had to contact this person and that person. then when it was all said and done we were told that they would have to make monthly checks and all kind of rules and regulations we had to follow. Like I sad we went all the way up until we found out they would forever be a part of our lives. We love our grandkids but we refuse to have cps in our lives! We thought that ones we got them we would not have to deal with cps any more but because they are from out of state the other state refuse to let them stay with us under no other terms. cps out here was very nice about breaking it all down to us and told us they understood why we made the choice we did but if the kids were in our state it would not have been this way. We made this decision not because we don't love and wanted our grandkids but because we did not want cps in our lives the way they wanted it to be. I'm sorry if you don't understand this but this is as much as I can say without disclosing all of the personal information about them. We did try to fight it but our lawyer said that again if it were in our state he would have a better chance of getting them without cps! I'm sorry again if you still donot understand my side of this but I did what I felt was best and again I say I back my choice 100% I am presently fighting for my right as a grandparent to have visitation rights with them, things are looking good ! "They knew me well as their Grandmother and alway will! I love them!
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chicyone
02/14/08 @ 11:32 PM
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