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Do you think you can form a bond with your Grandchild if you only see them once a week?
If you think about it, thats only 4 times a month. Just curious as to what everyones opinion is.
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stj287
06/25/09 @ 07:15 PM
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Yes , why not? 'only see them once a week' ?? my mom lived 3 hrs. away from us , saw our kids maybe every couple of months, they adored her . . then we moved her nearby and they saw her more, but not every week. They talked to her on the phone alot. When she passed away it was very difficult for all of us , including them and they were in their 20's at the time. . i'd say there was a 'bond'. It's not the amount of time, it's the quality of love there. I believe you don't have to see them every week for that. They will know.
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BClark
06/25/09 @ 10:33 PM
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stj287,
I definitly believe you can. It's the consistency that is important. Since my grandson was born I have been able to keep him at my home over night. Sometimes even 2 nights every other week. Up to about 6 months when he and his mother went back to live with the other grandparent because the mommy left the daddy who happens to be my son. I made sure that I would still go out to see him. It was an hour drive but I drove it back and forth. Well there were some problems and I didn't feel comfortable taking my grandson at the time back to my house. It was upsetting to me but I resolved that as long as I could be consistent with my little guy we will continue to bond. So as soon as he was able to sit up in a high chair I would pick him up and take him out to lunch or breakfast sometimes to the local library or the local toy store. Sometimes it would only be for as little as an hour and other times up to 5 hours once a week. Do you know this went on for a few months and became our very special time that when he saw me come in the house he would reach out to me and smile and when i brought him back he didn't want to go back to his mommy or his other grandma for the moment. When he began to toddle he would toddle up to me with a big smile. My suggestion take whatever you can get and make the most of every second. You are the only grandma that can offer your grandchild the love you have in your heart for him/her.Enjoy every moment you never know how long you may have to be with your little one,
Estee
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Estee
06/25/09 @ 10:46 PM
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Of course you can!! I have to miss out on a lot of our Vt. grandkids lives.. It's a "fur piece" from Kansas..But, they are great kids and we love each other very much. We talk on the phone, email each other and text ! LOL Don't worry, that bond is there if you want it to be!
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KSMeMa
06/25/09 @ 11:55 PM
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My children are quite well bonded with my parents and as we live on opposite coasts, we only see them once or twice a year. We usually see our grandchildren more than once a week but many of our visits are just in passing. I would say we really spend time with them once a week and we have a wonderful relationship. Even if you live close to your grandchild, more than once a week is a lot to expect. Especially, if there is more than 1 set of grandparents in the area. Then you figure 1 or both parents is/are working full time. Even one visit a week cuts into their family time. With 2 sets of local grandparents, that could take up EVERY one of their weekends. Bottom line, your "bond" with your grandchild will not suffer with 1 visit per week.
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happybug
06/26/09 @ 12:29 AM
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This is a real "quality v, quantity" issue. It's what you do with the time that counts the most, I think. If you have a few things that you "always do" (or almost always) that the child will remember - if your the "crafts grandma" or the "storytelling grandma" or whatever (as long as the parents have no objections to whatever it is) - that will create special memories, which, in turn, will create special bond. Even if another grandparent does some of the same things - if you're "known" for something by your grandchild, it will men a lot. In fact, you might checkout some of the new groups for ideas, if you haven't already. There are groups on cooking, sewing, crafts, outdoor activities, travel w/ grandkids, etc. (You might have to look under the Hobbies of Just for Fun categories to find your favorite.) Have a blast!
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fredigram
06/26/09 @ 09:03 AM
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Thank you all so much. You just made my night. Believe me when I am with my Grandson I try to live in the moment with him. I guess for me since when I was little my Grandmother lived upstairs from me and was at my house every day. I of course had a huge bond with her so I think I just always figured the reason why was because of seeing her so much. But you made me realize that you can spend 7 days a week with a Grandma and if they arent paying any attention it probably wont mean anything. My Grandmother always tickled and laughed with me, this was something my mother never did. I have the greatest mother but she wasnt a jokester like my Grandmother was.
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stj287
06/28/09 @ 09:24 PM
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Yes, I have a 2 1/2 yr old Granddaughter I only see on Sunday's for about 7 hours and she squeals n gives me that I know u smile...we go shopping for shoes(she loves shoes!) LOL
We cuddle, we play, we eat, we visit family, we take walks! Plenty of hugs n love! LOL During the week I call her almost everyday or vice a versa. We look forward to our Sunday's!
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lsa3254
06/29/09 @ 08:14 AM
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Of Course. A bond can be made strongly by repetition of being with you. If I had more time.....
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cryszen
06/29/09 @ 10:20 AM
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Yes, I do believe you can bond greatly with once a week visits. I have twin 9 month old GD (Granddaughters). I try to talk to them on the phone every night. I only live 5 mins. away from them, but I work 6 days a week M-Sat. until 7:00 p.m. They are usually in bed by 7:30 - 8:00. Since there are so young, I have a special way of talking to them on the phone, sounds crazy but it works. In a real high pitched voice I'll say "YOO HOO, IS ANYBODY THERE?" and then I'll say it again. My daughter says that as soon as they hear my voice, their little hands and legs go crazy and they smile. I do the same thing when I come into the house. I always enter from the kitchen and they are usually in the living room, where they can't see me. I'll enter saying "YOO HOO, IS ANYBODY HOME?". They start streching their necks to catch a glimpse of me and a huge smile comes over their little faces. Sundays are really the only day I have to spend quality time with them unless my DD and DSIL decide they want just a Mommy, Daddy and Babies day. She also works 6 days a week. At times I feel guilty because the the GM is the daily caregiver and is with them all the time and my DD will from time-to-time put the guilt trip on me. I only have so many hours in the day to clean, grocery shop, etc. I have to work on the guilt trips, however, I have been in the company of the other GM and the girls will reach their little arms out to me. My thing is I become a child again in front of them, I don't care what the adults think of me when I do jumping jacks and act as goofy as I can. I'll do just about anything to make them laugh. When I am with them, I spend all my time with them, reading, blowing bubbles, going through all the nursery rhymes, etc. I know they love me and that's all that I care about. When I can retire (which probably won't be until I'm 90), I will be with them all the time. I can't compete with the other GM and I don't intend to. They will love me for me.
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magmar
06/29/09 @ 12:45 PM
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Magmar, I love that YOO HOO, IS ANYBODY THERE idea. I just think I might steal your lines. My 2 yr old Grandson is one who doesnt like anybody going right in his face or giving a hug right away. I of course want to run and hug him but I usually wait a minute or 2 and then he will come to me. But saying your line just might be the thing that works. P.s. sorry but I wont be able to pay your for the rights of using it lol.
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stj287
07/02/09 @ 04:45 PM
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yes I had a great bond with grandparents living in another country whom I saw whenever we were lucky enough to be stationed there.
I'm 7 hours away from my GC
I'd love just once a month...or at the rate things are going, once every 3 months!
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TTOma
07/03/09 @ 12:31 AM
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