10 Ways to Teach Children Values

Our book columnist, Sloane Tanen, is a painter and the author of children's books including Where Is Coco Going?, Coco All Year Round, and Appetite for Detention. Her latest book is the young-adult novel Are You Going to Kiss Me Now? How do we teach kids to be kind, generous, patient, and empathetic? How do we teach them to respect others, to work hard, and to give back? We teach them by example, we teach them by explanation, and, of course, we teach them by sharing great books that couch these values in entertaining stories. The following are 10 of my favorite books that children will enjoy without ever suspecting they're being "taught" a thing.

by Chris Raschka (Schwartz & Wade, 2011) Ages 2 to 6 Daisy the dog goes to the park with her owner and her beloved red ball. When another dog co-opts her ball and ultimately pops it, Daisy is nothing short of devastated. What a surprise when the next day, Daisy is dragged begrudgingly to the park only to find that the very same dog (and owner) have returned with a beautiful blue ball ... for Daisy! The two dogs play together until it's time to go home. This little gem by famed children's book author and illustrator Chris Raschka is sure to delight. There is no text, but the illustrations are so lively it's plain fun to invent the narrative for Daisy's priceless expressions. And best of all, this book teaches the youngest readers that accidents do happen and that saying sorry goes a long way.

by Mo Willems (Hyperion, 2010) Ages 2 to 6 This is a hilarious book that also teaches the value of inclusion and sends the ever-important message that no dream is too big. Gerald and Piggie are playing a game of catch when they are interrupted by a snake that also wants to play. After some awkward pauses, Piggie very politely points out that they are playing catch and aren't arms are a prerequisite for the game? Hilarity ensues as they try to work around the problem. Believe me when I tell you it's nothing short of tearjerking when Piggie finally figures out a way for the three friends to play together. I love this book.

by Catherine Rayner (Dial, 2011) Ages 3 to 5 Norris the wise bear has been waiting quietly for the last ripe fruit to fall from the plorringe tree. But Norris isn't the only one who loves fruit. So does Tulip the raccoon and Violet the mouse. While Norris waits, Tulip and Violet sniff and poke and prod the stubborn plorringe. Finally, the fruit falls ... and it's Norris, waiting patiently under the tree, who catches it. But what about Tulip and Violet? Norris is wise, but he is also kind. He shares the fruit with Violet and Tulip and a special thing happens. Tulip and Violet learn the value of patience and kindness but more importantly Norris has two new friends ... and from then on they share everything. Enough said?

by Barney Saltzberg (Workman, 2010) Ages 3 and up I know I've mentioned this one before, but I just couldn't resist. In a world that stresses perfection and excellence, it's important for kids to understand that mistakes are okay and sometimes accidents can turn into celebrations. No use crying over torn paper, spilled ink, or holes. In every "Oops," there's something beautiful! This is a highly original book that teaches the value of creative thinking and persistence.

by Jon J. Muth (Scholastic, 2002) Ages 4 to 8 Based on a short story by Leo Tolstoy, this is a must-read children's classic. In a world flooded with social media and electronics, The Three Questions communicates a strong message to children about the value of living in the moment. Nicolai is a small boy who wants to be a good person, but is unsure how to accomplish his goal. He has three important questions ... When is the best time to do things? Who is the most important one? What is the right thing to do? "If only I could find the answers to my three questions ... then I would always know what to do." Accompanied by a heron, a monkey, and a dog, Nicolai goes on a long journey to visit Leo, the wise old turtle. Leo doesn't answer directly, but by the end of his journey, Nicolai has discovered the answers for himself: "Remember that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side. For these, my dear boy, are the answers to what is most important in this world." This is a beautifully written and illustrated book by a true master of children's literature.

by Spencer Johnson, M.D., illustrated by Dan Andreasen (Simon and Schuster, 2010) Ages 4 to 8 "I hope you like discovering the value of believing in yourself," begins this terrific, kid-friendly collection of biographies from the best-selling author of Who Moved My Cheese? The imaginative way in which Spencer narrates the stories allows kids to get inside the hearts and minds of such famed historical figures as Louis Pasteur, Harriet Tubman, Confucius, Helen Keller, and Will Rogers. My five-year-old son came away from this book with a real understanding of the important values that can help people become successful. This one's a winner.

by Laura Rankin (Bloomsbury, 2007) Ages 4 to 7 This book is so developmentally appropriate for kids because it puts the emphasis on how it feels to tell a lie versus how it feels to tell the truth. Ruthie the fox finds her classmate's small camera on the playground and she becomes so enchanted with it she lies to her teacher and says she got it for her birthday. The reader understands why Ruthie lied (she just loves that little camera), and we also understand her misery and "sick-stomach feeling" as the guilt of her lie sucks the joy out of her day-to-day life. Once Ruthie finally confesses, she is amazed at how good it feels to tell the truth. This is a lighthearted story that tackles a difficult and common problem.

by Dr. Seuss (Random House, 1961) Ages 4 and up There's two kinds of Sneetches: Star-Belly and Plain-Belly. You wouldn't think such a thing would matter, But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches Would brag, "We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches" With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort "We'll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!" Leave it to the incomparable Dr. Seuss to weave this madcap, hilarious, and deeply profound fable about the inanity of prejudice and its roots in insecurity. We all know kids can be cruel, and this is a terrific story to open up a dialogue about exclusion and its consequences. This is my very favorite Dr. Seuss book.

by Mark Kurlansky, illustrated by Frank Stockman (Workman, 2011) Ages 8 to 12 Imagine a planet with toxic orange oceans and no marine life other than jellyfish; a.k.a. "the cockroaches of the ocean." It may sound like science fiction, but it's a very real vision of what our world might look like if we don't motivate ourselves to save fish from extinction. From investigating where those frozen fish sticks come from to telling parents how to buy and eat fish responsibly, Kurlansky shows kids and adults how we can help. Kurlansky manages to weave economics, biology, history, culture, food, and politics into a luminous children's book that is appealing, understandable, and inspiring. Children will come away from this book knowing that they can make a difference. A valuable lesson indeed.

by Gary D. Schmidt (Clarion, 2011) Ages 11 and up Set during the Vietnam era, this is such a beautifully written, complex, and engaging book it's easy to forget it's for "young adults." Doug Swieteck is an eighth-grader who, due to his father losing his job, moves to a "dump" town with his abusive father, his two brothers, and a pathologically passive mother. It's hard to be the new kid and to be judged a "thug" because of your brother. The only one who gives Doug a chance is the local librarian who introduces Doug to Audubon and unleashes a passion and hope Doug never knew he had. This is a book about the choices we make; optimism over despair, passion over negligence, and empathy over hatred. It's about the value of reaching out to others and knowing that things are "okay for now."

Find more ideas for sharing life lessons with kids here on Grandparents.com: * How you can model values to your grandkids every day and why the family dinner table may be the best place to do it * How to talk with kids about having a positive self-image and avoiding drugs * 20 books that help young people cope with difficult situations