8 Tips for Grandparenting Unequally Gifted Kids

How to navigate the uncomfortable notion that two grandchildren might be equally loved, but unequally gifted.

By Jeff Vrabel
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Two of my grandchildren have very diverse talents and personalities (a brother and a sister). My grandson has been blessed with a keen mind and memory for detailed information but has issues socializing and acting appropriately in all situations. My grandaughter is a bright average student but I get the impression she is a lazy student and doesn't always work up to her full potential. She on the other hand is more of a "social butterfly" with manners that are usually very appropriate.

I try to appreciate their diverse personalities and intellectual abilities and not make outright comparisons to them about each other. I love them each for their unique abilities. I try to offer help in ways they need it while being respectful of their differences, fortunately they get along very well withe each other and have been brought up by parents who have not encouraged sibling rivalry and I try to follow their lead.

Sometimes their grandfather who adores both of them will make comments about how smart our grandson is in the presence of our grandaughter and I will try to affirm her strengths and then tell my husband in private how hurtful these comparisons can be and could even cause our grandaughter to have a complex.

Sharonalves on 2014-04-10 14:39:27