While you can’t control your partner’s mood, you can help shape it. Reader Susan M. tells us that when her husband is grumpy, “we can usually admit and joke about it.” Having a sense of humor can be key to diffusing tension, just be careful that the joking is appropriate and will be taken the right way and not make things worse. If you have words or stories that make both of you laugh, bring them up, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., America's "Love Doctor
". If you're not sure how your spouse will feel about funny stories or silly words, best to avoid them, she says.