When Families Live Together: A Survival Guide

Are your kids and grandkids moving in with you? Believe it or not, it's a good thing.

By Georgia Witkin

The myth: Because of the economic downturn, grandparents across the country are moving in with their adult children. I hear this over lunch, I hear it on TV, I hear it on the radio. And while it may sound logical, it’s not accurate.

The truth: Because of the economic downturn, adult children across the country are moving in with their parents — 62 percent of the more than 6 million multigenerational households in the United States were created by grown children moving in with their parents; in 50 percent of those cases, financial trouble was the main factor in the decision. 

But don't we grandparents have even bigger money problems? Some of us do, of course, but many of us don’t. We grandparents still control more than three quarters of the nation’s wealth. We took less of a hit when the stock market tanked because our investments tended to be less risky, and we're less likely to have an upside-down mortgage or, for that matter, any mortgage at all. No wonder our grown children are moving back. According to our recent national study, The Grandparent Economy, grandparents are spending about $32 billion on their grandchildren’s education, $11 billion on clothes for the kids, $6 billion on toys, and nearly $700 million on diapers.

Built for family life

And while many observers assume that economy-driven multigenerational living is an emotionally traumatic hardship, that's another myth. The truth? Many grandparents tell us not only that they love having their family back under their roof; they also love being needed again. They say it brings purpose to their days, and meaning to their lives. The physical demand of keeping up with the kids makes them feel younger; outdoor play burns off both calories and tension; and helping with homework provides excellent mental stimulation.

There’s a lesson here. We humans are built for family life. In a crisis, or after a disaster, it’s always family that gets us through. Children must be fed, dressed, and taken to school, so we rally and we do it with a smile. In fact, studies have found that the more we act like everything is okay, the more we actually believe that everything is going to be okay. Family living forces us to have regular, face-to-face contact, which reduces isolation and wards off depression. The predictable routines of family life reduce stress; the act of nurturing, researchers have found, triggers innate biochemical stress-antidotes.

Grandparents make life better

Multigenerational living can have clear benefits for kids as well. They get to experience a "chain of love," learning that more than one adult can care for them, and seeing that if anything should happen to their parents, their grandparents will be there for them. Grandparents can help children get through illness and survive their parents' divorce.  They can help when working couples can't get home for dinner or bedtime, and when single parents are overwhelmed. They can give kids the undivided attention that parents and siblings sometimes can't because of all the demands on their time.

[poll]

Even if a family doesn't have three generations under the same roof, the presence of grandparents in the lives of children can be critical. One of several similar studies of teen life found that adolescents who have daily contact with at least one grandparent are less likely to use recreational drugs. Why? Most likely because grandparents provide lots of conversation, encouragement, and problem-solving advice, and help kids stay focused on their future.

How to meld the generations

Don’t be fooled by stories that paint a picture of multigenerational living that features disgruntled grandparents, resentful parents, and disengaged kids. Multigenerational living is as old as human history, and reasserts itself whenever we face difficulties or disasters. We come together. We survive and thrive. Still, a few tips and tools can help things go more smoothly:

1. Make room. It’s not the amount of space that matters, it’s the respect for independence and privacy. Make sure all members of the family have a spot they can call their own where they won't be disturbed.

2. Make nice. Before you criticize or correct a family member, review in your mind all the things you love and appreciate about the person. Even better, do it out loud. To them! Thinking good things isn’t enough. Everyone needs positive as well as negative feedback. If you can’t offer both, hold your complaints until you can.

3. Make rules mutual. To live together, you have to agree about what you'll do when you disagree. So, make sure you have some rules about conflict resolution along with house rules about food, chores, and curfews. Some families hold regular meetings, others leave notes, but the bare minimum should be five minutes of direct, face-to-face contact to catch up each day.

4. Imagine you're making a movie. When things get tough, pretend that your family members are characters in a film you're writing. It will help you get some psychological distance and enough emotional breathing room to feel in control again. You may even get a laugh.

5. Treat your family like your friends. It sounds strange, at first, but think about it: You treat your friends with patience, you listen to what they have to say, you give them advice, and you give them the benefit of the doubt. Treat your family with as much consideration as you do your friends and multigenerational living will go much more smoothly.

Comments

Real And Urgent Spell Caster Reviews To Solve Your Relationship Problem Dr Davi..

I am from Canada, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Davi When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get her back after all she put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Davi i was able to get my lover back within 48hours. Are you going through a break-up or divorce? Do you need your Ex back fast? Don't cry anymore, contact Dr Davi powerful Love spell that work fast now!! I was hurt and heart broken when my lover breakup with me, and i could not know what next to do again, I love my girlfriend so much but she was cheating on me with another man and this makes her break up with me so that she can be able to get married to the other man and this guy use witchcraft on my girlfriend to make her hate me and our kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for. I went to Florida to see a friend and who was having the same problem with me but she later got her husband back with the Same Dr. Davi love spell. She told me that Dr Davi help with love spell in getting back lost lover back, and i decided to contact the same Dr Davi and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my woman back. To my surprise my lover really called me and told me that she miss me so much, Oh My God! i was so excited, and today i am happy with my woman again and we are joyfully living together as one big family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr Davi for bringing back my lover and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr Davi is the best spell caster online who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, If you have any problem contact Dr Davi and i guarantee you that he will help you,Email him at:

Email: Spelltemple@fastmail.com
Call him: +55 (11) 97732-4658   

dillongorman09@yahoo.com on 2018-06-13 22:55:47

i couldn't believe that i would ever be re-unite with my ex-lover, i was so traumatize staying all alone with no body to stay by me and to be with me, but i was so lucky one certain day to meet this powerful spell caster Dr Akhere,after telling him about my situation he did everything humanly possible to see that my lover come back to me,indeed after casting the spell my ex-lover came back to me less than 48 hours,my ex-lover came back begging me that he will never leave me again,3 months later we got engaged and married,if you are having this same situation just contact Dr Akhere on his email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com thanks very much sir for restoring my ex-lover back to me,his emai:

AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

missjennifer64@gmail.com on 2018-06-13 08:16:17

Do you need your ex-husband back or you want to save your marriage / relationship from breakup and Divorce? you can contact dr. ugo wonders through email generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call him directly on +13863369876

I want the world to know a great man that is well known as Dr. UGO, he has the perfect solution to relationship issues and marriage problems. The main reason why i went to Dr Ugo Wonders was for solution on how i can get my husband back because in recent times i have read some testimonies on the internet which some people has written about powerful Dr Ugo Wonders and i was so pleased and i decided to seek for assistance from him through his email (GENERALSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM) which he did a perfect job by casting a spell on my husband which made him to come back to me and beg for forgiveness.I will not stop publishing his name on the net because of the good work he is doing. I will drop his contact for the usefulness of those that needs his help. CONTACT Dr Ugo via EMAIL: GENERALSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM You can also Call his mobile number +1(386)336-9876
Website: https://generalspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

lilliancole8820@gmail.com on 2018-04-04 18:44:39

Please everyone need to read this
Some time things you don’t believe can just happen.
My name is Mr Phillip from canada am 52 years old i got married
at the age of 36 i have only one child and i was living happily .After sixteen
year of my marriage my wife behavior became so strange and i don’t
really understand what was going on, she packed out of the house to another
man i love her so much that i never dream of losing her, i try my
possible best to make sure that my wife get back to me but all to no
avail i cry and i cry seeking for help i discussed it with my best friend
and he promise to help me of a SPIRITUAL SPELL CASTER called dr Fulfilment,he
is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing
concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him the great
fulfilment And i told him everything that
happen all he told me is that i should not worry that all my problems will
be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my wife back and i
did, he said after 3 days my wife will come back to me and start
begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our
relationship is very tight and we both live happily again.
So my friends if you have any issues and you need the help of a real spell
caster please try to contact this same email address (
fulfimenttemple@gmail.com OR you can call or whatsapp him on +2349030721389
HE FIX THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS TO ALL
ACROSS THE GLOBE ON:
1. Getting your lover or husband back
2. Spiritual bulletproof
3. Training
4. Money spell
5. Long life spell
6. Prosperity spell
7. Protection spell
8. Get a job spell
9. Becoming a manager spell
10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell
11. Getting your scam money back
12. Child spell
13. Pregnancy spell
14. Freedom spell
15. Love spell
16, vanishing spell
17. Invisible human spell
18. Success or pass spell
19. Marriage spell
20. Avenging spell
21. Popularity spell
22. Killing spell
23. Cancer spell

edmondphillip222@gmail.com on 2018-03-28 23:22:14

Compatibility Horoscope

How well do you get along with your grandchild and other family members? Want to know if your personalities mesh?

Find out here.