14 Hilarious Holiday Disasters

Everyone loves to gather with their families during the holiday season, but with all the pressure, preparations, and crowds, things are bound to go wrong. Grandparents.com asked 14 of the nation's funniest mommy bloggers to tell us about their most memorable holiday disasters. Though they found the incidents scary at the time, these moms are laughing about them today — and so will you. (Our personal favorite kicks off the slide show.) Enjoy, and happy holidays!

Grandparents.com Editors' Choice When I was 19, I took my future husband's 3-year-old son, Tony, shopping at JCPenney. But when we got to the escalators, Tony froze. He would not get on. I stepped on to show him how easy it was, and then encouraged him to follow me. I was halfway down before I realized he was not coming. I yelled to him to wait for me to come back to get him. But running around to the other escalator, I lost sight of him. When I came back, he was gone. I dropped the decorations it had taken two hours to find, and started yelling for him in a panic. Then, as I was telling a lady at the jewelry counter to call the police, along came Tony with a security guard. He is 27 now and still teases me about the time I lost him in the mall. — PJ Goetz, Tampa With Kids

At Christmas, by the time the kids go to bed, the adults are ready for "The Silly Soap Opera Game." We turn my dad's TV to the soap-opera channel, press mute, and take turns filling in the characters' lines. It's usually hilarious, but things took a turn down Uncomfortable Street last year. My mom (who is very conservative) was one of the ladies on General Hospital. My brother-in-law Paul was her hunky boyfriend. Before long they found themselves in a steamy love scene. With clothes dropping onscreen, Paul confidently (and mischievously) stayed in character, making noises that turned my mom's face the shade of a fire hydrant down the block. As I noticed my sister listening to her husband and her mom together, it was obvious that the game might never be fun for her again. — Kim Kotecki, KimandJason.com

In the 1960s, my parents thought nothing of inviting 50-plus guests into our 900-square-foot house for the holiday. Then there was the year one of my cousins got an inkpad for Christmas. He left it open on the floor and everyone walked through it, but there were so many people in the living room, no one noticed the ink was ruining our carpeting. If that wasn't bad enough, there were so many coats on the bed that when one of the guests decided to lie down, the frame collapsed under the weight. — Judy Davids, Rock Star Mommy

We had just gotten back from a busy holiday visit with my parents in Ohio. On the night after Thanksgiving, we all bundled up to see the Christmas tree-lighting in their small town square. We got there in time to hear carolers and as we milled around waiting, we all had our backs turned at the moment they lit the tree. My sons cried the whole way home for missing the big event. Thanks! — Heather Gibbs Flett, Rookie Moms

My tip comes from a personal disaster which brought lots of friendly jokes my way, after the fact: Consider the size of your oven, and purchase a turkey large enough to feed your guests, but not so big and gangly, that you can't cook it thoroughly. A few years back, 12 of my 14 guests got severe food poisoning after my feast. The two who didn't get sick were vegetarians. Since then, I always buy a small turkey so I know I can cook it right, and supplement it with extra turkey breasts, which have the healthier white meat anyhow. Plus, I received three meat thermometers as hostess gifts the following year! — Amy Kossoff Smith, MomTini Lounge

When I was working in China in 2002 and 2003, my husband and I had the romantic idea to ring in the New Year in Shanghai. We flew in and arrived at 8 pm on New Years Eve, then hustled downtown and joined the huge crowd of people gathered under a gigantic movie screen, waiting for the inevitable countdown. Vendors were selling sparklers and noisemakers, and the crowd was getting excited. After a while I checked my watch — it was 12:05am! Nothing had happened! No bell, no countdown, no music, nothing! Just a huge crowd buying crap and loitering! We were totally bummed. I still don't understand what happened. What were the huge screen and the vendors all about? — CanCan Broom, Mom Most Traveled

My sister is experiencing a grandma-induced disaster this holiday season. Her mother-in-law wanted to know what the kids might want for Christmas. My sister let her in on the fact that Santa would be bringing them a Wii. Days later, an answering machine message was played, in the presence of my 7-year-old niece. It was Grandma asking where my sister got the Wii. That long, detailed message debunked all the holiday folklore my niece was still clinging to. The damage was irreversible. The Christmas surprise and Santa's magic had been ruined. Check back in a decade or so to see if any of us sees humor in this. — Joey Resciniti, Big Teeth & Clouds

My in-laws are retired and live in a rural area — several of their neighbors are Amish. A few years ago we drove there for Thanksgiving, but didn't realize just how much it was snowing (and drifting) until our van got stuck in the snow. After several failed attempts to plow it out with my father-in-law's truck, my husband and his dad ended up missing dinner because they were shoveling for hours to get the van free. When we left that night, we took a different route — but it didn't help. Before we'd gone a mile, we were stuck again, with two tired, scared kids in the growing darkness. Thankfully, a nearby farmer saw our plight and was able to pull our van free from the drift — with the help of his team of plow horses! — Deb, Mom of 3 Girls

I was home from college, and my mom had invited her entire family over for our holiday dinner — 23 people. Earlier in the week, we slaved away, making pounds of fudge for dessert and as presents. But the day before everyone was expected to arrive, my mom got the flu and my dad was on a business trip. It was up to me to take care of Christmas dinner, but my idea of cooking was microwaving ramen in my dorm. So my mom gave me directions. I kept running up the stairs, asking, "Okay, what do I do now?" The dinner turned out great — luckily, my dad took care of the turkey — but our dog, a mischievous miniature Schnauzer with a sweet tooth, got into the fudge, ate ALL of it, left a mess, and whined all night long. — Eileen Conlan, shefinds.com

I was a single mom dating my first boyfriend, a sweet junior-high math teacher from New York City. We were flying to North Carolina for the holidays with my 18-month-old daughter. It was supposed to be an easy, two-hour flight. But things turned turbulent. The plane cut sharply to the right. I gripped my baby in my lap. My boyfriend started to swear. I gave him a look, but he swore again, louder. "We do have little ears around here," I said. If traveling together was a true test of a new relationship, what did this mean? Ironically, my little girl was the heroic one. Every time the plane plunged, she laughed. "Again!" she said. "Again!" The passengers behind us burst into laughter — and finally, we landed, safe. — Rachel Sarah, Single Mom Seeking

For Christmas each year, my grandfather gave us a box of pecans and a fruitcake, one of those commercial ones that give fruitcake a bad name. We'd duly put it out at the chaotic annual Christmas Eve party, and no one ate it. But my mother always saved the tins, reusing them to store the Christmas cookies we made each year. About 1992, my mother grabbed a tin from the pantry and was startled to find — yup, fruitcake. Never opened. My grandfather died in 1988, so it had arrived no later than 1987. We oohed and aahed and put it back on top of the freezer. It seemed the only proper thing to do. Since then, every year we have the unveiling of the fruitcake. It's been covered with mold, the plastic wrap has decayed, and the cake has begun eating through the tin, which is now in a plastic bag. Sometime this season, we'll retrieve it and see how it's doing. And Christmas will have come again. — Magpie Musing

It was Christmas Eve. All the stockings had been filled except my ex-mother-in-law's. Her husband had forgotten to buy anything for her. So at 11pm, my husband and I drove all over town trying to find stocking stuffers. Needless to say, there weren't many places to look. We ended up at a gas station mini-mart and got her travel samples of Tylenol and toothpaste. At a 7-Eleven, we found the last copy of Cosmopolitan and a Santa Claus that said "Merry Christmas" and "Ho, Ho, Ho" when you threw it against a wall. The next day, while emptying her stocking, my mother-in-law was a bit confused. We finally told her what had happened and, well, she and my now-ex father-in-law are still together, although it was touch and go for a few moments. — Jessica Bern, The Mouthy Housewives

The tree was up. The house was decorated. And we were out at a hockey game. We came home expecting to see the twinkling lights of our tree shining through the window. We didn't, though. Where was our tree? We walked inside and our dog was standing there, but our tree wasn't — standing, that is. He had got caught in the batting, and pulled the entire tree down trying to get untangled. I can laugh about it now. The image is really funny, if you're not the one who owned the tree! (We actually only lost four ornaments; the dining-room table broke the tree's fall!) — Karen Bannan, Natural as Possible Mom

We have four boys and one girl. Our daughter was always outnumbered so she learned how to fight back at an early age. When she was 12, we put up our tree one night but didn't have time to decorate it. The next morning, I heard her scream in the den. When I came running in, she pointed to the tree. It had been decorated (by her brothers) with her training bras and panties! Not to be outdone, she snuck in her brother's room (he was still sleeping) and soon the lower half of the tree was decorated with his boxers. Son Number Two got in on the action by adding his favorite Ninja Turtle underwear, and some of his twin brothers' training pants. That year was officially known as the Year of the Underwear Tree. It was definitely a conversation piece! — Teresa Bell Kindred, The Nanahood